DAYS OF OUR WIVES
The third Sunday in September, which by all (ac)counts is today, is WIFE APPRECIATION DAY. First and foremost, it’s a day for all us husbands to give thanks….thanks that we don’t live in olden times of guys like King Solomon, who had hundreds of wives for whose favors he had to pay dearly to prove his appreciation, not only this day, but on wedding anniversaries, birthdays, and romantic holidays like the ancient equivalents of Sweetest Day, Valentine’s Day, and, of course, Groundhog Day. My wallet (which I affectionately call Wally) is having a nervous breakdown just thinking about that empty feeling….and praying he doesn’t wake up tomorrow morning reliving this day.
Fortunately, we live in more civilized times where monogamy is the rule and just one wife is the ruler. Wally can rest assured that I see all such days as over-commercialized evil plots furthered by vile capitalists interested only in separating Wally and me from our hard-earned jack* (surnamed Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson, Grant and Franklin) — and my would-be better half had better see it that way, because I control the Jack in my Wally, and I will not be moved by shape-up-or-ship-out demands….
*jack, n. Money. Orig. a sporting term, common 1920s. –Dictionary of American Slang
Whoa! Let us not be too hasty — you know I was only kidding, don’t you, Honey Buns? Lay that pistol down, babe….
As a matter of fact, Snooky Wooky Ookums, I do have something for you on WIFE APPRECIATION DAY: something to bring back memories of those halcyon days when lovers can’t get enough of each other (as The Donald continues to feel about The Donald):
- * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sorry, Wally. Sorry, Jack. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
leggypeggy 12:06 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
Years ago I read an article that said retailers used to refer to the husband/dad as ‘The Wallet’.
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mistermuse 12:20 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
Wally would probably remember that better than I do. I was too busy trying to keep Wally from getting the empty feeling I mentioned in my post. 🙂
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K. A. Bryce 12:58 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
I am not in the habit of making negative comments about other people’s posts–there is nothing to be gained by it. I do agree that commercialism has us by the sore spots when it comes to promoting things for profit instead of focusing on what such a day should mean–a courtesy at the very least and an opportunity to say thank you to someone who has shared equally in your lives together as partners, legally or otherwise. Smiles>KB
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mistermuse 7:55 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
Of course, this post wasn’t intended to be taken seriously, KB (well, except for the part about The Donald not being able to get enough of The Donald). Smiles right back atcha! 🙂
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Garfield Hug 2:45 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
Ohh I did not know there is such a day dedicated. Another commercial project of the retailers I guess. Ahh well, if husbands and wives apprecate each other daily, then there is no need for just this one day! Or it is as what my MR EX would say to cop out of getting presents to give out ha ha! Have a fun day Mistermuse!
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mistermuse 8:00 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
I definitely appreciate my wife, GH — especially for not using that pistol she packs! 🙂
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Garfield Hug 8:51 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink
You are a wise and smart man!! 🤣
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Lisa R. Palmer 10:06 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
Well done, mistermuse! I believe that with this post, your job is likely done. Jack and Wally should skate through this virtually unscathed…
(The fact that you knew this day would impress most wives, as it’s tough enough getting husbands to keep track of birthdays and anniversaries!)
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mistermuse 11:17 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
Thanks, Lisa. Jack and Wally will be happy to hear that. 🙂
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Lisa R. Palmer 10:09 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
P.S. did you know it’s also National Guacamole Day? There must be some connection we can make there… lol!
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arekhill1 2:16 pm on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
I am not married Sr. Muse, but I have had the same girl for 8 years now. When is Main Squeeze Appreciation Day? I have an ex-wife, but I have failed to appreciate her for many years now. If there was a Guy Who Married Your Ex-Wife Appreciation Day, I’d have to send out three cards already.
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mistermuse 6:36 pm on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
Your ex must be one popular gal, Ricardo. She apparently goes shopping for husbands the way most women go shopping for bargains….which, come to think of it, maybe they were (present company excepted, of course). 🙂
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Rosaliene Bacchus 5:32 pm on September 16, 2018 Permalink |
Oh, the things the capitalists invent to empty our Wallies 🙂
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mistermuse 2:43 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink |
You’re right on the money with that comment, Rosaliene. 🙂
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literaryeyes 8:12 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink |
Ha ha, “just one wife is the ruler.” Um, suggestion, just say I love you. Money is only an object. Diamonds slumber in safety deposit boxes. Plants die. Etc. I know, who asked me? My inner ruler?
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mistermuse 11:29 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink |
“just say I love you”?
Just kidding. If love had nothing to do with it, I wouldn’t be married 50 years! 🙂
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floatinggold 8:42 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink |
I had no idea!
Do you have a contact page?
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mistermuse 11:38 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink |
Thanks for your comment, but I have no idea what you had no idea about….nor, why you asked what you asked. Contact can be made as you’ve already done: via comment.
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floatinggold 9:52 am on September 18, 2018 Permalink
My apologies for not making myself clear.
I had no idea regarding the “wives day”, so I found it amusing.
And I asked about the contact page, because there is something I would like to ask, which is off-topic. Most people don’t like unrelated conversation in the comment section.
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mistermuse 11:26 am on September 18, 2018 Permalink |
Thanks again — I’m glad you liked the post, and I appreciate the clarification. Regarding contact, WordPress is the only ‘social media’ I do (no Facebook, Twitter, etc.), so feel free to ask your off-topic question here.
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floatinggold 12:34 pm on September 18, 2018 Permalink
I noticed that you have unfollowed me recently. And so I was wondering if it was something I said, or did. I’d appreciate your feedback to learn for the future.
Thanks.
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mistermuse 3:44 pm on September 18, 2018 Permalink |
I can’t answer your question with certainty, floatinggold, because I’m not sure how it happened. I have come across instances where I discovered that someone I followed for sometime had become unfollowed without my being aware of it. Whether I did it inadvertently or it was one of those mysterious disappearances into cyberspace that occasionally happen on WordPress, I have no way of knowing. Normally I don’t unfollow someone unless that person has shown no interest in my posts for an extended period, or I find that a blog I at first found promising didn’t sustain my interest (just not on the same wavelength — no reflection on the blogger).
In any case, I’ll put you back on “follow” and we’ll both live happily ever after (or whenever)! 🙂
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floatinggold 10:04 am on September 19, 2018 Permalink
Thank you for this explanation. Makes sense to me.
Cheers to a long and prosperous life!
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rivergirl1211 3:09 pm on September 18, 2018 Permalink |
Why have I never heard of this most wondrous of holidays? Surely Hallmark has a card….
Excuse me while I go tell my husband that he has many Wife Appreciation Days to make up for…
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mistermuse 8:46 am on September 19, 2018 Permalink |
What I (and probably your husband) would like to know is Why is there no Husband Appreciation Day? 😦 🙂
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rivergirl1211 6:21 pm on September 19, 2018 Permalink
I’d say every day is Husband Appreciation Day….. but you might throw something at me.
😉
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calmkate 5:45 am on September 19, 2018 Permalink |
lol never heard of it, must be another commercial plot … glad your wife didn’t use her pistol … she must be a super fun gal to be married to such a romantic generous joker 🙂
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mistermuse 8:52 am on September 19, 2018 Permalink |
Kate, as far as I’m concerned, every day should be Wife Appreciation Day (but without expectation of gifts — ha ha). 🙂
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calmkate 5:13 pm on September 19, 2018 Permalink
lol well if yours should choose to push up daisies I’m in line 🙂
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