I BE NOMINATED FOR THE KIESTER AWARD!

Friends, I am proud, humbled and honored to tell you that I (will) be nominated for the Kiester Award for blogging (over, above and beyond the call of duty, no less). Yes, friends, I foresee that you will see fit, after reading this, not only to get off (or on) your kiester, as the case-ster may be, to nominate me….but also to kick yourself in the kiester for not doing so before. So, though your awakening may be in arrears, it is appreciated.

But I’m conflicted, friends. It’s not that I’m ungrateful for the Kiester that you are aching to bestow upon me; however, there are others much more deserving. I would therefore caution you to control yourselves, because worthy as I may be, it’s only right (wing) that you should nominate someone with far superior qualities, such as:

THE DONALD — aka The Orange (T)error. America’s bully boy and wall nut who is able to leap (t)all Republicans in a single bound and make them kiss his ass in a single tweet. Drains swamps by filling them in with b.s. Loves everyone (who loves him), but retains Godfather complex (for those who don’t).

THE MIKESTER — aka Straightarrow Mike. Joined to The Donald at the hip while being the least hip VP in American hipstery. Even a dog couldn’t be more loyal. Leading contender for the Cardboard Poodle award.

THE MITCH-ELAINE MAN — aka Monotone Mitch. The Blue Grass State’s gift horse to the U.S. Senate. Was once caught smiling, and vowed never to smile again. Doesn’t parrot The Donald as much as The Mikester, but is nonetheless for the birds. Married to Elaine Chao, Secretary of Transportation in the horse’s ass administration.

THE HUCKABEE WASP — aka Sarah the married Spinstirrer. White House Press Secretary and daughter of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Christian Minister and former Arkansas governor, Mike Huckabee. Read her lips. She may not be a dummy, but The Donald’s got her back (or is it the other way around?).

DUMBO THE UGLY ELEPHANT — aka The GOP. It’s the body the Republican Party has become since The Donald took power, as Ronald Reagan turned over in his grave. Who knew Ronnie’s reign as President would one day turn out to be, not only The Good Old Days of fond memory, but the elephant in the room, the ghost of civility past?

In closing, friends, a few of you may think I misspelled Keister, but in my dictionary, Kiester is also acceptable. Spelling can be like pronunciation:

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12 comments on “I BE NOMINATED FOR THE KIESTER AWARD!

  1. Carmen says:

    All this time I thought it was Christer — as in, Holy Christer. . . I’ve got a few of them around here today. . And it’s raining. . . 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      According to the Urban Dictionary, Christer is a popular name among religious fanatics, TV ministers and do-gooders, so I’m guessing you’ve had a drought and you invited them to pray for rain. Saints be praised, you had a conversion, and this is your reward! Now all you have to worry about is the coming flood! 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  2. arekhill1 says:

    Assholes all, Sr Muse. A spot-on analysis.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. mlrover says:

    “The Orange (T)error. America’s bully boy and wall nut who is able to leap (t)all Republicans in a single bound” is a hoot. The Stump is so disgusting that some ask who we’d have to laugh at when he’s gone. He’s become so revolting he’s just sad (and dangerous) while making our country a laughingstock in the eyes of the rest of the world. The majority of the Republican Party isn’t much better. Clever posting and loved the Astair/Rogers clip, one that was done in more than one take. Rare for them. Astair usually insisted on single, seamless takes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      Thank you. I think the reason Astaire/Rogers seldom needed multiple takes was that he was such a stickler for rehearsing over and over again until they achieved perfection (or as close to it as humanly possible) that by the time it came to shoot a scene, one take was all that was necessary.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. calmkate says:

    Fortunately I don’t know most of these nominees but I sincerely appreciate your wordsmith skills in aptly describing them … so I feel compelled to give my vote to the queen

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      Just for the record, the other nominees (besides Trump) are Mike Pence, President in charge of Vice; Mitch McConnell, Senate Majority Leader in charge of blocking Supreme Court nominees of Democrat Presidents and confirming Supreme Court nominees of Republican Presidents; Sarah Huckabee Sanders, White House Press Secretary in charge of explaining what Trump means by what he says and tweets; and the GOP, the political party in charge of sitting on their assumptions while their President runs the country like a raving egomaniac.

      Liked by 1 person

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