The only thing in America that promises the people more than the politicians is commercials. –Evan Esar

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Like many men, when a commercial comes on while watching TV, I reach for the remote and change channels faster than you can say Jack Robinsonitzskivich (I used to do it faster than you can say Jack Robinson, but my reflexes ain’t what they used to be). For some reason, this male prerogative gives my wife a foreboding fit faster than you can say “#*@#!” — which, loosely translated, is what she did say the last time we watched TV together. And, as if that’s not enough, more often than not, there are commercials on the channel(s) I change to, and by the time I find a channel without a commercial, it’s time to go back to what we were watching in the first place. So you see, what she puts up with is nothing compared to my gripe.

Frankly, I think showing commercials at the same time on different channels is a vast conspiracy, and there oughta be a law agin it. I don’t have the remotest idea what my wife finds so compelling about commercials anyway–most of them these days are dumber than a Trump tweet. At least, back in TV’s good old days, commercials had some meat to them:

And now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to join my forgiving wife to watch our favorite program–you know, the quiz show where the answer is in the form of a question.

“Honey, where’s the remote?”


29 comments on “WHERE’S THE REMOTE?

  1. Rakkelle says:

    LOL…My husband does the same thing. Absolutely annoying. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Lol! I can’t even find the remote that fast! Takes me the whole commercial break to discover where it’s “gotten off to” this time (usually under the cat somehow). Just one of the reasons I switched to commercial-free streaming channels only… 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse says:

      Hmmmm. I’m too ‘old school’ to switch, but you’ve given me an idea: next time I can’t find the remote, I’ll look under my wife. 🙂


      • Lol! I remember when remotes were new, and how instantly addictive they were. But even when they were as big as portable phones, they still managed to get lost… It was better before that when remotes looked like your kids or your spouse – much less likely to disappear… ;D

        Nowadays, if you lose that tiny little remote you’re doomed to days on end of mindless ads, since you can’t even turn the damn thing off! (Sometimes I really miss switches and knobs and things that made sense. Sigh…)

        Liked by 1 person

  3. masercot says:

    My cable company allows for a two channel rewind. So, I might keep it on the Science Channel and the baseball game. Between innings, I hit “last channel” and rewind a bit, watch everything of substance I want, then switch back to the ball game… rewinding if necessary…

    Don’t know why I’m trading tips on how to be a couch potato, though…

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      Unfortunately, my wife is the ‘tech savvy’ person in the family, so I’m at her mercy when it comes to installing and/or learning to use electronic gizmos. Thanks for the tip though–maybe it will help some other poor guy who, for whatever misguided reason, follows my blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Carmen says:

    I don’t know about you, mister muse, but we watch the ‘boob tube’ infrequently. If/when we do, when the commercials come on we look at each other with that ‘wth?’ look on after every one – the images come so fast and often don’t seem to have anything at all to do with the product being touted.
    They’ve come a long (and not nearly as entertaining) ways since the Red Rose tea chimps, eh? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      You got that right, Carmen–and the commercials which don’t leave you ‘scratching your head’ are generally so dumb, I don’t see how they appeal to anyone but Trump supporters and juvenile de-tweet-quents (like Trump).

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Carmen says:

    You must be like many people right now in the States, mister muse. Waiting for the mid-terms and hoping that the balance of power is shifted, to at least attempt to curtail the destruction from the tweeter-in-chief. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Richard A Cahill says:

    I watch the living room TV so infrequently,, Sr. Muse, that all the expertise on the remote belongs to my girl. I often have to hand it to her humbly while she fixes my screw-ups.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      I know the feeling, Ricardo. My wife tried to convince me that I could fix the screw-ups myself if I just played around with the remote, trying different things….but when I do, I make it so much worse that even she has a problem getting back to square one. Now she no longer tries to convince me, so I think she is finally resigned to the fact that I’m a hopeless case.


  7. calmkate says:

    lol love it! I hit the mute button and my housemates grumble as they want to watch them??!?
    Love this crack at Macs, I’d prefer Wendy’s any day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I don’t have a TV, but the last time I did, I was less fond of commercials than a turkey is fond of being the guest of honor at the Thanksgiving meal.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. mistermuse says:

    As un-fond as I am of commercials on TV, I am even less fond of Trump on TV….which, come to think of it, are also commercials (for himself)….and he doesn’t even have to pay for them.


  10. tubularsock says:

    Well mistermuse, Tubularsock is with Paul Sunstone on this one. Tubularsock gave up TV almost 40 years ago not only because of commercials but for the TOTAL lack of content.

    People use to tell Tubularsock that there was “some things good on TV”. NOT!

    It is crap in and crap out and the potential of TV has been squandered much like the entire national potential.

    But with the comedy team of Trump and Trump and Trump and ……… just how many are there?

    Thanks for your like on Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” And it’s commercial free!

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      In my opinion (for what it’s worth), saying there’s absolutely nothing good on TV is almost like saying there’s absolutely nothing good in the world. Conceding that 95% of both is an abomination, there is still worth of varying depth/degree to be found by those who aren’t 100% turned off by the 95%.

      Even ‘intellectuals’ (for want of a better term) who don’t dig sports (for example) might admit there are a lot worse things than watching one’s favorite sport on TV. So, even though I agree that most of TV is a “vast wasteland” that panders to the so-called lowest common denominator (and I see almost no chance of raising that level), I’m still up for sifting through the “crap” (while holding my nose).


  11. tubularsock says:

    Tubularsock once had a friend, that was BEFORE Tubularsock alienated everyone with declarative statements. And that friend had in her possession a HUGE TV. That TV was so large that standing next to it Tubularsock was marginally bigger than the people trapped inside by no less than six inches.

    No, it didn’t make the content any better but Tubularsock has to admit that it did make Tubularsock “feel” like an actual cast member in All In The Family. There was novelty in THAT for sure and a comforting sense that there was home away from home.

    Your ability, mistermuse, “. . . for sifting through the “crap” (while holding my nose)” is admirable indeed.

    However Tubularsock’s chest waders obviously must be a bit shorter than yours.

    And not to labor the point but Tubularsock has found that being in the same room as a TV that is on there is a negative vibrational pattern that is noticeable if you have been away from TV for some time.

    That vibrational pattern is most depressing and seems to put Tubularsock at least into a “sleep-state” mentally. There may be an answer somewhere in that for the society in which Tubularsock lives.

    “Happy Trails To You”, mistermuse.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      If you think my ability for “sifting through the crap” is admirable, you haven’t heard me sing:

      OK, so you still haven’t heard ME sing, but I taught that guy to sing, and it’s the taught that counts (so they say).


  12. mlrover says:

    Speaking of remotes, when my grandkids were little ones, they came running to me in hysteria because they couldn’t find the remote. I went to the side of the TV and pressed the on button. They looked at me in silent awe as if I’d parted the sea. Some days it’s good to be Grandma.

    Liked by 1 person

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