Do you have a favorite conspiracy theory? Not to be morbid, but my theory is that we have all been set up for elimination. The proof of my theory is that every one of the billions of human beings born before 1900* is dead (with apologies to a possible unknown straggler or two still hanging in there)….and there’s no reason to believe that anyone born post-1900 (who hasn’t yet perished) will be able to avoid this deplorable fate in due course. Let’s face it — the god(s) on high created a helluva mystery down here, and we’re the fall guys.

Of course, there are many who believe there is no death, professing that the body will be resurrected with the soul in a next life — even  cremated bodies, whose ashes have been scattered to the four winds and seven seas, will go to that great watering hole in the sky for another round. I would drink to that theory, but given the untold millions who have suffered agony in this go-round, who could drink enough to forget that the hereafter operates under the same management as the present? Raising the bar won’t bury the past.

Now, unlike most conspiracy theorists, I do not hold my theory to be the god-honest truth. It could be wrong. Maybe the gods have a heart; maybe we will live forever. Michel de Montaigne wrote, “Socrates thought, and so do I, that the wisest theory about the gods is no theory at all.” A rather unconsoling thought, perhaps, but one, at least, that’s not dead in the water. In any case, there’s no use losing any sleep over it.

*If you doubt that billions of human beings were born and died before 1900, click here:


11 comments on “CONSPIRACY WEARY

  1. pjlazos says:

    Great post. My favorite is – don’t trust the government. As it happens, I also work for the government.😘

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Your title says it all! Thanks for putting it all into perspective, mistermuse! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Don Frankel says:

    So what you’re saying Muse is life is sort of like Hamlet, everybody dies.

    I also worked for the government and don’t trust them. Especially government statistics. “There are lies, damned lies and statistics.” Some should add “government statistics”. Oh wait I just did.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      Don, “everybody dies” is my “theory,” and though that’s not original, I’m speculating that it’s also a conspiracy. I also said that “maybe we will live forever.” I thought of saying “maybe we will live happily ever after” instead of just “forever,” but given the gods’ track record in running this life, that may be wishful thinking for the next life (if any). Hopefully we and the gods can forgive each others wrongdoings and make a fresh (re)start at that tentative point.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. arekhill1 says:

    Everytime I hear “Everybody dies,” I think to myself, “Wait a minute…I didn’t sign off on that.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Death and taxes, as they say 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      So far, The Donald has managed to avoid both — at least, no one has seen his death certificate or tax returns, so we can assume both he and his money are safe and sound (or at least, safe).


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