A TAXING SITUATION

Preparing an income tax return is like a girl preparing to go to the beach: you take off as much as the law allows. –Evan Esar

Speaking of which, I’ve mustered enough resolve to start on my federal and state tax returns (rather than procrastinate ’til it’s almost too late, as I’ve done for decades), so I’m going to strip some preparation time from this post by re-publishing an old poem. But at least it’s for a good cause — ’cause if I don’t get a move on, that age-old last minute stress could cause an old-age heart attack, which would not be in my best interest.

MAX AT TAX

“Hello, Sam!”
“Good morning, Max!”
“Have you done
your income tax?”
“Taxing though
it be to say,
know I did
it yesterday.”
“Did you take
your deductions?”
“I deduced
for reductions.”
Four reduced?
I laud your feat!”
“I took off
my hands and feet.”
“That’s the way
to keep ahead!”
“Yes, I used
my limbs in stead.”
“Instead of
head? Way to go!
That’s the way
to save some dough!”
“Have you done
your income tax?”
“Goodbye, Sam!”
“Good morning, Max!”

’nuff wisecracks! Jills and Jacks, here is Max on the stacks with the facts about tax, so relax:

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12 comments on “A TAXING SITUATION

  1. Don Frankel says:

    So long as it’s not a “pound of flesh”. You should be all right.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ginger says:

    How delightful! I feel the same way …

    Liked by 1 person

  3. arekhill1 says:

    I always wait until the last possible minute, because I always owe. Bigly, in most years,

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      Now that Trump & the Repubs are turning their attention to tax reform (translation: lower taxes for the rich), you’ll be wanting to file early in the future, Ricardo, because you can claim you have a multi-million dollar annual income and get a big refund.

      Like

  4. I haven’t even started. Ugh. Why did you have to remind me? I should call the IRS and find out when I’m getting the huge tax cut Trump promised me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      If I’m not mistaken, Diana, the proposed Trump tax cut would benefit only about the wealthiest 1% of the American people, so unless you fall in that category, you might as well forget about that call….unless you want to tell the IRS you appreciate the great job they do enforcing Congress’s Byzantine tax laws 😦

      Liked by 2 people

      • I know. It was tongue in cheek. I even heard that for some of us peasants are taxes will actually go up.

        Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse says:

        Thanks, Diana. No doubt you recognized that my reply to your first comment was tongue in cheek also. I think one of the most interesting things about ‘tongue in cheek’ (besides whatever wit and humor it tries to employ to shine light on a muddled reality) is how it is received. We’ve probably all experienced someone not ‘getting’ what we intended to be tongue in cheek….as well as being someone who didn’t ‘get it’ ourselves. But goodwill/trust between sender and receiver is always the best assurance against a ‘cheeky’ reaction.

        Your humble peasant, mistermuse 🙂

        Like

  5. Have just done mine for the last tax year. Given our tax year goes from 1st July to 30th June, that’s not nearly as virtuous as it sounds. When there are several tiny part-time jobs and a shoebox full of receipts to add up, it keeps getting put into the do later pile. Hang on, what do you mean by federal AND state tax returns? Why are there two returns to do? We only have one and that’s more than enough!

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      It seems that tax reform/simplification is like the weather: everyone (especially politicians) talks about it, but no one ever does anything about it (and if they do, you can be pretty sure it won’t benefit us peasants). And yes, here in Ohio, we have state as well as federal tax returns to deal with — which reminds me, now that my federal is done, I’ve got to get to work on my state. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

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