To protect ourselves from hordes of trick-threatening little monsters demanding treats at mister & missus muse’s doorway tomorrow night, I’m considering leaving the lights off as darkness descends on our humble abode….sort of the ‘discretion-is-the-better-part-of-valor’ equivalent of playing dead if real life (threatening) monsters were to besiege us.

But I fear that the more worldly-wise of those juvenile mendicants will see through my hoary Halloween subterfuge — especially if they shine a flashlight through our garage window, see cobwebs stretching from my wife’s 1929 Duesenberg Model J Sports Sedan to my 1919 Locomobile Model 48 Town Car, and (putting two and to together) realize we senior citizens haven’t gone out in ages. We are home.

So I put my thinking cap-tion on to come up with the title of this post and a plan that, while it may not fool the little devils into passing us by, should absolutely scare the bejesus out of them when they approach: a bigger than life-size cutout (revealed by motion-activated overhead light) of — who else — DONALD TRUMP on the stump and rigged with appropriate sound effects (such as “Get ’em outta here!“). If that doesn’t do the trick, I don’t know what wood. Here’s a sneak preview — BOO!


Now, you might think: Surely some of those pre-pubescent scavengers are little Republicans who adore The Donald and will think his visage is such a treat that they will knock on my door just to thank me, and not even ask for goodies. To you I say airily:

As for those Donald-adorers and their thanks, I will say: You’re NOT welcome. Next Halloween, the specter of that mean-spirited blowhard will be replaced by a cutout of President (if she doesn’t blow it) Hillary warning you bad little beggars to get the GOP-hell outta here and never darken my door again. But as long as you’re here now, you might as well leave a donation to The Clinton Foundation — if you know what’s good for you.


20 comments on “BOOS IN THE NIGHT

  1. scifihammy says:

    haha Love this clip! 🙂 Leslie Neilsen was hilarious as a comic actor in his later career.
    Good Luck avoiding all the little monsters! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. GP Cox says:

    You can’t avoid all the ghosts and goblins of this weekend…. I’m always lurking around somewhere….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. linnetmoss says:

    Haha! Much-needed humor. I am so ready for this campaign to be over. I want my Witch-In-Chief!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Carmen says:

    Well, hopefully you won’t be witless after Nov. 8th! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. mistermuse says:

    Carmen, it will be hard to keep my wits about me if The Donald wins, but I’ll do my best (while he does his boast). 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  6. arekhill1 says:

    Again, Sr. Muse, you should move out here, specifically to my neighborhood. Not only are there no active Trumpies, but your years would put you at about the median age around here. Nobody has so much as a pumpkin on their doorstep to advertise their willingness to give out treats, since even their grandchildren are old enough to have jobs and mortgages.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      Unfortunately, I’ve sworn off flying, and our 1929 Duesenberg and 1919 Locomobile have seen better days….or ( should I say) decades. I suppose we could aFord a new car, Ricardo, but today’s cars have so much new-fangled technology that I’d be lucky to move down the road without driving into a ditch, much less to San Diego.


  7. Don Frankel says:

    I like your cars. Here no one comes to the door. It’s a doorman building and they can’t get in. But I liked the title here and in case no one got it here it is.


    • mistermuse says:

      I knew if anyone “got it,” it would be you, Don. BLUES IN THE NIGHT, btw, was composed by the great songwriting team of Harold Arlen and Johnny Mercer (but I bet you knew that, too).


  8. Mark Scheel says:

    Boy, am I ever in hostile territory here–well, at least I do appreciate good puns. And Don explained the title to me (thanks, Don). We turned the porch light on because my wife is superstitious, but no one came. There are no Trump signs in our neighborhood either, Ricardo; however, no Hillary signs either and this is the first election I can remember where there were none for either team. I fear the next administration, whoever heads it, will be one endless “Halloween.” That’s my bottom line this season. Now to get ready to head over to Mass for All Saints’ Day. Yep, my wife again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      As an ex-Catholic, I remember All Saints’ Day as a Holy Day of obligation — meaning get your butt to Mass under pain of mortal sin if you miss Mass….in which (non-)event, you had to get your butt to Confession, or risk going to hell (like the whole country is doing right now, according to Saint Donald, who may spark a Mass Exodus if he wins the election). Well, maybe not a Mass Exodus, but at least a Hillary exodus, if she wants to avoid Trump locking her up.


  9. Fun memories on “Blues in the Night”….My mama done taught me this song when I was very little—the reverse version of course, i.e. “..a man is a two-face…”—- Then, as I remember, my parents would have me sing it at gatherings of their friends, and they would all laugh uproariously…. I didn’t know what they were laughing at, but enjoyed the praise and attention.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. mistermuse says:

    “a man is a two-face” reminds me of the great Abraham Lincoln quote: “If I had two faces, would I be wearing this one?” I can relate to that! 😦 🙂


  11. I love the humor. It’s almost over. Oh, I can’t wait. Hopefully, Hilary has it sewed up. Just in case she doesn’t, my husband is already checking out real estate in Canada.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. mistermuse says:

    Better check out real estate in Mexico too, because after The Donald builds his wall, getting back in the U.S. may be difficult should you be tempted to return for any reason (such as Trump making America great again).


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