DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD

What would you do without your head? Well, you might become a candidate for President of the United Horsemen of Sleepy Hollow….or President of the United States of America. Just the thought of the latter naturally points to the strange case of one Donald Trump, a septuagenarian who appears to have a head — but every word emanating from said head makes it apparent that it isn’t a real head, but a cartoon head, with real drawing power.

And here all the Time

Now, it’s possible that Sir Donald, of House of Orange fame, was born with an ordinary human head (hard to picture, but possible). If so, it seems obvious that at some point he irretrievably lost it (perhaps in a naval exercise, or maybe it was told “You’re fired!” when he was an ANT (Apprentice Narcissistic Tycoon). Of course, it would never do for someone of his stature to appear headless (not great for the image), so no doubt he struck a great deal with a great cartoonist to draw a big replacement head on his shoulders that would not only be the envy of every bird seeking a nesting site, but would look great and inspire many tweets in the bargain.

Needless to say, the cartoonist succeeded in creating an artistic wonder, notwithstanding the fact that every time the head said something, it made its bear-er look like an ass. Of course, that’s not the cartoonist’s fault, but Sir Donald blamed him anyway, because that’s what winners do to losers (of everything but heads). Naturally, Sir Donald’s followers drank it up, because everything he says goes down like Dr. Trump’s Original Snake Oil, ‘still-made’ right here in the good old U.S. of A. by Mexican aliens, and guaranteed great for the constitution, for soothing fear, and curing everything that aliens you.

And so, my fellow Americans, the choice is queer (heterosexually speaking). The time is now. Or is it the choice is now and the times are queer? Anyway, if your mind (assuming you haven’t lost your head reading this post) was undecided as to who or whom to vote for at the start of this treatise, I trust that is no longer a problem.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you as a public service. I thank you.

P.S. Thanks also to Wayne Hogan for providing the cartoon which provided the idea for this post. If his name sounds vaguely familiar, another great Wayne’s world classic appears on the cover of my book SEX SCELLS, which I seem to recall a few of you buying under duress way back when (and of which I just happen to have some leftover copies, in case anyone’s interested).

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12 comments on “DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD

  1. arekhill1 says:

    It’s too bad Trump already has a biographer that detests him, Sr. Muse, because it was a lucrative position you could have easily filled.

    Like

  2. mistermuse says:

    I’d heard that The Donald has a biographer, but I wasn’t aware that the biographer detests him. I wouldn’t be surprised if his barber — er, hair stylist — detests him too, having to clean all the bird poop from The Donald’s scalp before starling — er, starting — on his hair.

    Like

  3. inesephoto says:

    Whatever you get, guys, you will have to keep living. Politicians come and go, but you have only one life.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. mistermuse says:

    True, but at my age, my one life is already approaching an American man’s average life span, and I’d like to live it out under a President who isn’t full of himself and who thinks of none other than himself . 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Don Frankel says:

    I think you’re being too kind to The Donald Himself. First he is not a Sir. You have to get knighted by the Queen to be a Sir anything. But we’ve tried to make the connection to Hitler once before and it seems the message did not get out. However tune in tomorrow where we try again.

    Like

  6. mistermuse says:

    I will indeed tune in tomorrow, Don, and any reader here can do the same by going to the Blogroll near the bottom of the column to the right and clicking “Speak Without Interruption” to view your post on Aug. 2.

    Like

  7. eths says:

    Well, he is really outdoing himself this week with spewing even more hatred!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. mistermuse says:

    Nothing Trump says surprises me any more. Some might call him an ignoramus on steroids, but that would be an insult to typical ignoramuses.

    Like

  9. Mél@nie says:

    @”What would you do without your head?” – the Romanians use to reply: well, it would rain or snow in your throat… 🙂
    * * *
    just like you, nothing surprises us about the wigged ignorant racist “dude”… he used to be an entertainer, he’s turned into an embarrassing and shameless character for lots of Americans, both in the US and abroad… brrr!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. mistermuse says:

    If I ever travel to Romania, I must remember to keep my head in bad weather! 🙂

    Words are completely inadequate to describe this travesty of a potential President named Donald Trump. We can only hope that our votes against him are adequate to defeat him

    Like

  11. BroadBlogs says:

    “the choice is queer (heterosexually speaking). The time is now. Or is it the choice is now and the times are queer?”

    Both, I’d say.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. mistermuse says:

    It’s clear you’re right.

    Like

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