LET BYGONES BE BYGONES

It’s nice for children to have pets — until the pets start having children. –Evan Esar

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I think if I owned a pet (be it dog, cat, or rock), I would name it BYGONES….if for no other reason than just thinking of that name suggested the idea for a post such as the one you’re reading. But beyond that, there is this: by God, any pet I own deserves a name that is not only as unique as some of the names we give our kids, but reflects my forgiving nature. Thus (for example), if my pet rock would decide to follow a cat up a tree and get stuck, I’d be willing to tell my rock I forgive it for being stuck up….and let Bygones be Bygones.

Now, I’ll admit that “Bygones” may not be the most sexy pet name in the world, but as you might conclude from the opening quote, “sexy” & “pet” aren’t the mix I’d look for if I were looking for my ideal pet (more up my platonic pet alley would be, not a cool cat or hot dog, but an ugly rock). After all, how are we to control the pet population if we keep giving our pets such seductive names as these actual pet names gleaned from Google-eyed research:

BABY CAKES
BIG DADDY
BLOSSOM BUTT
BOO BOO
BUNBUNS

CHUNKY BUNNY
CUDDLE CAKES
CUTIE PATOOTIE
FLUFFER-NUTTER
HONEY PANTS

HOTNESS
HOTTIE
HUGGALUMP
KISSY FACE
LADY KILLER

LOVE MUFFIN
LOVER BOY
LOVER GIRL
McSTEAMY
MISTER CUTIE

MONKEY BUNS
MOOKIE-POOKIE BEAR
NUM NUMS
PARADISE
POP TART

PUSSY CAT
SCHMOOOOKY POOKIE POOO
SEXY MAMA
SNOOGYPUSS
UNCLE UPRIGHT

Come on, admit it — even if you perchance to be the most domesticated of creatures, you might turn into a tiger if you were called any of the above by a sex of the opposite member….not to mention, if called such censored terms of endearment as these:

So, until we meet again, my little winky-dinky petsy-wetsy….

 

 

 

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27 comments on “LET BYGONES BE BYGONES

  1. scifihammy says:

    haha Fun post 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. linnetmoss says:

    Actually, “rhubarb pie slice” isn’t so bad. Rube for short? But when we get another cat I am planning to name it Sven-Olaf. Unless it’s a girl.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Carmen says:

    Well, mr moozy-woozy, that was absolutely hilarious. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. arekhill1 says:

    Uncle Upright sounds vaguely incestuous and perverse. I’d go with that.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. mistermuse says:

    I think it depends on where you live, Ricardo. In my neighboring state of Kentucky, I hear it’s not considered incestuous at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. BroadBlogs says:

    Good theme. And know that I miss your comments.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mistermuse says:

    Thanks. I haven’t been able to do much commenting on other blog posts in the past few weeks due to “events beyond my control” (aka life is what happens when one has other plans). Hopefully things will return to normal (if there is such a thing) before long.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. literaryeyes says:

    I have a huge grey and white male cat named Buttons. Go figure! Sometimes I call him Butterball.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. mistermuse says:

    Most cats seem indifferent to whatever you call them, so if he’s a fat cat, you might as well call him BUTTERBALL….or even FEED ME, as a sort of reminder of your duty to him.

    Like

    • I took in a stray dog I saw trying to go to the church one chilly November day in Ohio. No one claimed it so I became the owner. My daughter, her friend and I were walking Victor (that is what I named him ) along the rural suburban roads. Stopped to let him tinkle while my daughter and her friend, Stacy, burst out laughing. Then I found out my Victor was a Victoria and my face burned red with embarrassment. Also this reminded me of that movie with Julie Andrews and James Garner. It was called Victor/Victoria and it was about men and women cavorting nicely around the stage dressed as the opposite sex .My first and only childhood dog was a male named Bucky and he was lucky that I took care of him. My brothers didn’t care so I adopted Bucky who would do fun tricks in our beat up. back yard. Oh! what wonderful memories for my Mom. Bucky never had an “accident” in our house.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. mistermuse says:

    Very interesting. I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid and haven’t wanted one since, but I still think almost every kid should have a dog or pet of some kind (and be responsible for taking care of it).

    Like

    • I have seen kids adopt fossils( not me) moon rocks, gemstone crystals and wilderness creatures as pets. Strange that two different species will bond together as a couple on the Animal Kingdom TV show without any hint of incest. mistermuse. Could these creatures know something that we don’t? iT IS NOT ABOUT REPRODUCTION BUT THE CUDDLING, KEEPING BABIES FED AND WARM. IT SEEMS TO BE THE SHARING OF CREATURE COMFORTS IN ORDER TO HELP THEM SURVIVE { sorry ABOUT THE CAPITAL LETTERS} my little finger is bent and hits the wrong key.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. eths says:

    Blossom butt! You’re kidding!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. mistermuse says:

    Every name on that list was given by a pet owner to their pet. Some of them, the pet should have given back and said (in pet language) what you said: “You’re kidding!”

    Like

  13. How does child named Satan feel when he/she goes to school’ My friend told me she heard or read the news that Devil worshipers are now having their children go to a Satanic Preschool and then Kindergarten with the same curriculum. These families insist they are breaking any laws. They also feel that the teachers there will give their kids the “proper” education. I wonder if they also have Satan’s Grooming for your Pet. I guess you could call their canine Devil Dogs.The world is going to the dogs, I guess no pet or child is safe now..

    Like

    • I meant to write ” Their families insist they are NOT breading any laws..” At least they are not carrying guns.
      Whatever events have reshaped hour life, mistermuse, I hope you will be back on your feet very soon. Your previous posts are still great to read., Please take care of yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. mistermuse says:

    The “events beyond my control” I referred to in a previous comment had little to do with my health, so there’s nothing to get back on my feet from. Nonetheless, I thank you for your concern, and otherwise, things are back to normal

    Like

  15. mistermuse says:

    Not-with-standing your sarcasm, Michaeline, I shall move on to thinking about my next post, which I expect will keep me on my toes for the next few days..

    Like

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