ALL IN FAVOR OF BOMBING AGRABAH, SAY ABRACADABRA

Friends, I love to bomb the hell out of the enemy as much as the next guy, but as we know, in the dead-on, aptly-dubbed fog of war, mistakes are made (aka stuff happens)….for examples, the killing by “friendly fire” of former NFL star Pat Tillman in April 2004, the accidental bombing (which took the lives of 22 medical staff & patients) of a Doctors Without Borders hospital in October 2015 — both in Afghanistan — and who knows how many other such tragedies throughout history.

Thus it is with mixed feelings that I bring you tidings of a recent poll revealing that many Americans are in favor of bombing the city of Agrabah, which is located, not in the Middle East, but in the far-off kingdom of Apocrypha, no less:

http://www.mintpressnews.com/212204-2/212204

Friends, after some animated soul-searching, I regret to say that I must differ with my fellow patriots. I do not favor the bombing of Agrabah. It’s not because Agrabahn terrorists don’t deserve to die — they are, after all, cartoonish, less-than-human barbarians, committing appalling atrocities in the name of Allah (who apparently controls the minds of his adherents from the heavenly kingdom of Allahbah). No, friends, I demur because there is a near-100% chance of fog in the war zone, and an even greater probability of collateral damage, which of course only turns survivors into revenge-crazed recruits for the enemy. Even many of our esteemed leaders, both military and political, are believed to be aware of these realities, though clueless as to what to do about them (other than deem them regrettable and unavoidable).

Well, I say we spare Agrabah and all the other bahs whose populace has the misfortune of living in a different dream world than ours. If we must show them who’s boss, we can always blow them to kingdom-come with politically incorrect ridicule and blasts of bombast, such as the Shakespearean likes of Donald Trump drops on his adversaries, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Or – well, as a last resort, we could emulate the brilliant tactics employed by another politically incorrect Donald, by George:

So there, as a last report, you have my final post of 2015….and not a moment too soon, I dare say. Happy New Year to all, and to all, a good night.

 

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16 comments on “ALL IN FAVOR OF BOMBING AGRABAH, SAY ABRACADABRA

  1. mistermuse says:

    Although this post is five days after my last one (which was a day early because of Christmas), I will get back on schedule January 5 – at least, that’s my (only) New Year’s resolution. I’d make more resolutions, but I’m retired.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. arekhill1 says:

    Really, Sr. Muse, you seem to be making light of this two-dimensional threat to the American way of life. We could quickly storyboard up a fleet of cartoon cruise missiles to lay waste to Agrabah. Of course, it’s a Pentagon storyboard, so the missiles would cost some millions apiece, but freedom isn’t free.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mistermuse says:

    Me make light of human folly? On the contrary, I’m shocked — SHOCKED — that there is bumbling going on here! Thankfully, not only do our political candidates have all the answers for all our problems, but they’re confidently humble about it. How, for example, could we not trust our future to a candidate whose principal qualification seems to be that he is leading in the polls (as he modestly reminds us ad nauseam)?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ladysighs says:

    I must confess I don’t always watch your posted videos to the finish. But I couldn’t resist D.D.
    Read you next year! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. charlypriest says:

    I say bomb the shit out of that place. I could care less of collateral damage, imagine you were the soldier on the ground, just talking for myself, but when I was in the army we infantry hated this stupid rules of engagement because of collateral damage. Sorry, we didn´t use civilians as our shelter, but we are the ones that had to go in on foot and see your friends die or you yourself might die all because there is a possibility of collateral damage, war is war, damn ugly i can tell you the nuerous times when we had the enemy on sight and couldn´t even shoot with our rifles because there could be civilians around the building, and you could see these nutcases through your scope holding an AK and call it in the radio, by the time it went up al the channels and got back down to us they where already gone, to come and kill us another day, so for me, just carpet bomb the place if you really want to win that shitty war, which Mr.O let it begin in my opinión by not taking action agaainst this nutcases earier on calling them the JV team, taking out all the US tropos and living a vacume there to be filled by the muslim nutcases, so I´m with the majority of America and I´m not even American I´m Spanish, they started this fight you better end it quickly with overwhelming fire power if not this is the place where you are at, debating now wether they should bomb their headquarters, if they had acted earlier we wouldn´t be having this discussion. So the longer you draag it the worst, and as I said, for the soldiers on the ground it is sad and it does impact you to see dead bodies of kids but i always put it in perspective, it was a mistake but better them than one of my collegues that´s for sure and absolutely no regrets.

    Damn, I got wound up here. Good topic to point out though.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mistermuse says:

    I’ve commented elsewhere that Obama was asleep on the job while ISIL/ISIS was overrunning 1/3 of Iraq and only half-awake thereafter. I like him as a peacetime President, but as a wartime President, he doesn’t seem to get that you gotta do what you gotta do…and the sooner, the better. I dislike ideological, jingoistic, simplistic thinking-politicians, but ISIL/ISIS also thinks in those terms, and in their case, it’s lethal not to take them (out) seriously.

    Like

  7. Don Frankel says:

    Muse this article fails to mention that a large number of democrats also want to bomb Agrabah which could mean that a majority of Americans want to bomb Agrabah and it has bi-partisan support. I say if we are to bomb Agrabah how can we not also bomb Shazam?

    Like

  8. mistermuse says:

    The article I cite does say (near the end) that 19% of Democrats want to bomb Agrabah, which, along with 30% of Republicans and undoubtedly some Independents, would indeed add up to a majority in favor of bombing….which also means that a majority of Americans failed to Google the name to learn where the hell Agrabah is, and thus would have found out that it doesn’t really exist, which means that most Americans want to bomb first and ask questions later. No wonder Trump is leading the polls.

    Like

  9. Don Frankel says:

    I know that article said 19% but I read somewhere else that it was higher which makes it an overwhelming majority. But let’s go back to the good old days.

    Like

  10. mistermuse says:

    Love that Doo Wop, Don….and speaking of “higher” and “the good old days,” here’s my favorite Doo Wop of them all:

    Like

  11. Don Frankel says:

    If we’re going there how’s about this one.

    Like

  12. Don Frankel says:

    No wait this is the sine qua non of do wop.

    Like

  13. mistermuse says:

    Don, The Platters sound to me like a cross between Doo Wop and The Ink Spots of the 1940s. Good stuff!

    Like

  14. Joseph Nebus says:

    I wouldn’t bomb Agrabah. They’ve got a genie, and I’ve seen the TV series. We could all end up turned into rats or something before we know what hit us. And I don’t want to be a rat. I want to be something in the raccoon family, or maybe Eugene the Jeep.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. mistermuse says:

    I assume you mean the TV series I DREAM OF JEANNIE, which I confess I liked even if it wasn’t the most sophisticated comedy in the world (the fact that Jeannie was played by the luscious Barbara Eden may have had something to do with my appreciation of the show). In MY dream of Jeannie, the animal I’d have wanted to be is a wolf, but alas and rats! – time waits for no one, and she’s now 84, and I’m no spring chicken myself.

    Like

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