GOP AIN’T GOT NO USE FOR PROPER GRAMMAR NOHOW

In a recent study by those grammar-checking nerds at http://www.grammarly.com/ (which is literally the literacy liturgist of all things literate and literary), it was found that supporters of current Republican candidates are more than twice as grammatically challenged as their Democratic counterparts.

Yes, friends, that which I have long suspected….has now been proven true: many right-wing Republicans don’t know their asterisks from a hole in the ground. According to the study, ass-kissers of GOP candidates on Facebook made an average of 8.7 grammatical mistakes (misspellings, punctuation, etc.) per 100 words, compared to 4.2 mistakes for supporters of Dems. Furthermore, Dem ass-kissers demonstrated a larger vocabulary, using on average 300 unique words per 1,000 words, while Repubs used butt 245.

But I’m almost at a loss for words at the news that the biggest loser was DONALD TRUMP, whose partisans made an average of 12.6 mistakes per 100 words. In fact, not a single GOP candidate’s backers scored better than the backers of any of the five Democratic candidates, whose scores ranged from 3.1 mistakes (Lincoln Chafee) to 3.7 (Bernie Sanders) to 6.3 (Hillary Clinton).

I hate to say it, but let us face facts. As much as we may revel in the boastful bloviating of The Donald, not to mention Rick Sanitarium (11.5  supporter mistakes per 100) and the rest of the GOP Presidential-wannabes, their constituents are a bunch of semi-literate, half-witted cretins (not to put too fine a point on it). And, sad to say, because of their limited vocabulary, these language-challenged dunces often resort to mean-spirited name calling as their only means of expressing their idiotic opinions — something which this writer, of course, would never stoop to.

This is indeed a sorry state of affairs. America can ill afford to have elections decided by those who don’t know the difference between a diphthong and a dipstick (not to mention elections decided by those whose opinions differ from mine). Perhaps it’s time to bring back the old voter literacy tests — but instead of tests meant to keep Southern State blacks from voting, we need tests designed to keep ignorant right-wing Republicans from voting.

This need not be complicated. Disqualification could be as expedient as this:

If you plan to vote for a candidate whose first name is Donald, Rick, TedBenBobby, Carly, or Mike, sign on this line with an “X” ______.  God bless you for exorcising your right to vote.

P.S. As my faithful readers know, I posted my choice a month ago. I’m voting for Lucy Lou.

 

 

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23 comments on “GOP AIN’T GOT NO USE FOR PROPER GRAMMAR NOHOW

  1. scifihammy says:

    haha I really enjoyed this 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. mistermuse says:

    ….but probably not half as much as I enjoyed writing it!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rita says:

    Wow, I’m for Lucy as well. This is great.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. mistermuse says:

    Thank you for joining the I LOVE LUCY crowd – I’m sure you will have a Ball. 🙂

    Like

  5. arekhill1 says:

    Republicans have sought to corner the idiot vote for years. Who can argue with this? As a wise illiterate once said, it am what it be.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mistermuse says:

    “Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.” –Friedrich Schiller

    Liked by 1 person

  7. charlypriest says:

    So half of the country are gramatically challenged to say the least then……
    Anyways, what I found amusing here is that there are guys that will come up with this idea. Got to love the U.S of A. It certainly makes politics interesting

    Like

  8. mistermuse says:

    Not just politics, but the whole of human nature. Now that I think about it, that must be why I titled this blog THE OBSERVATION POST.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. TOKEN says:

    Adoxography and witzelsucht!

    It is simply because the intelligent Republicans are at work and don’t have the time to respond to such sophistry, as opposed to many inaniloquent lefties who have nothing better to do with their time than attend to the concilliabule.

    Did they actually count how many nasty names were called along the way? I’ll bet the abderian Dems won that contest too.

    Just my observations if semi-literate, half-witted, mean-spirited, hate-mongering, racist cretins and vocabulary-challenged dunces are still permitted to comment…

    Bring on the exsibilation… Peace 😉

    Like

  10. mistermuse says:

    Just a thought, but if you have time, you may want to consider the possibility that if the “intelligent Republicans don’t have time to respond to such sophistry,” it’s because they’re too busy engaging in their own sophistry.

    And, as you can tell by my approving your comment, “semi-literate, half-witted, mean-spirited, hate-mongering [your addition to the list], racist cretins and vocabulary-challenged dunces” are indeed permitted to comment.

    Peace is good. Seriously. Peace.

    Like

  11. TOKEN says:

    I expect that is probably true. That is what is wrong with it all, isn’t it?

    LOL And as you can tell, I wouldn’t waste time and do so enjoy the abuse, therefore I expected nothing less from you in the first place!

    However, judging from the candidates we have on all sides, I’m seriously considering a vote for the Resident of Rabbit Hash or a Californian of some description…

    Like

  12. mistermuse says:

    I was just about to add to my previous reply that it should be seen in the same spirit as this post, which was categorized and tagged as “humor and “satire,” but your second comment beat me to the punch. In any case, I repeat “Peace is good,” and I’m glad I lived up to your expectations. 🙂

    Like

    • mistermuse says:

      It dawned on me this morning, what with my first name being Ken, that if “TOKEN” is taken as a contraction of “TO KEN,” the instigator of last night’s back-and-forth may be someone who knows me from palmier days at SWI. If so, the tenor of TOKEN’s comments leads me to suspect that his first name is Michael, and perhaps I should revisit his (what first struck me as) something approaching affectation….as, rather, something approaching affection?

      If I’ve left my imagination run away with me, I trust TOKEN will pardon my jumping to conclusions. Otherwise, it’s always good to hear from you, Michael, though you might have waited until Halloween to come disguised as a TOKEN of yourself. Clever masquerade, though. 🙂

      Like

  13. To Ken says:

    Alas you crafty devil; you have figured out my chicanery! I did enjoy getting away with it, even for just a short time. Just a token of my affection… Have a great day 🙂

    Like

  14. mistermuse says:

    From now on, when I hear the old saying, “Don’t take any wooden nickels,” it will inevitably translate in my mind to DON’T TAKE ANY WOODEN TOKENS. At any rate, I miss our old “meeting (of the minds) place” – that is, your reflections on nature – and hope you enjoyed my Sept. 25 post THE NATURAL LIST.

    Like

  15. BroadBlogs says:

    Their thoughts are so jumbled, how could their words not be?

    Like

  16. mistermuse says:

    Perhaps that’s why the elephant is the symbol of the GOP – you know, Jumble the elephant…..oh, wait, I confused Jumble with Jumbo. I’d better get my act together before people start to think I’m a Republican. Or even a jackass, but I’m not a Democrat either.

    Like

  17. Don Frankel says:

    Lucy Lou’s supporters make no mistakes.

    Like

  18. mistermuse says:

    To the best of my knowledge, Lucy Lou has never denied being a dog (which is more than you can say for most politicians), so how can we make a mistake supporting such an honest candidate?

    Like

  19. Mél@nie says:

    your witty, common sense and realistic article has reminded me that we lived in Houston, TX(NASA area) for 5 years, but we did visit other states…. as a language teacher, I was beyond surprised to come across English native speakers who used to ask me spelling, grammar, or syntax questions… btw, English is my 3rd language, so long story, short: you’re sooo right, Sir! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. mistermuse says:

    Because English is your 3rd language, I can’t help but admire (even though you’re a language teacher) your ability to “get” my frequent use of wordplay, much of which I suspect is more than many Americans get. So, when you were in Texas and other states, I’m not all that surprised that you were asked such questions. In my opinion, Americans (in general) are very good at technology, but sadly lacking in sophistication language arts-wise.

    Like

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