DO YOU HAVE PANTY/WAIST PROBLEMS?

As you know, July 27 is one of the biggest holidays of the year: it’s TAKE YOUR PANTS FOR A WALK DAY. Now, those of us who take our pants (or panties) for a walk every day may wonder why there’s one special day set aside to celebrate such a normal, mundane activity. The answer, by way of analogy, is that most of us are mothers or fathers every day, but we still have single Mother’s and Father’s Days to honor what we do every day….unless, of course, we can afford to delegate the care of our offspring to a ritzy boarding school in France, or however parents who are wealthy get their darling little monster(s) out of their better-things-to-do lives for extended periods.

Anyway, far be it from me not to take this walk day — and its health benefits — seriously. And yet, it seems to me that the idea of exercising your pants/panties is a red herringbone. Sure, your pants may be getting a tad tight around the middle, but is that your pants’ fault? Let’s face it — if your pants no longer fit, you’re getting fat, and a walk around the block isn’t going to do much for either you or your pants. You need to address the real problem — and luckily for you, I have the solution:

THE WAGES OF THIN

Overweight? Not to worry —
You can lose it in a hurry!
Here is all you knead to know:
Inhibit your intake of dough.

When, of dough, you indulges —
Like your wallet, you get bulges.
Don’t be all that you can be —
Send half of all you make to me!

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12 comments on “DO YOU HAVE PANTY/WAIST PROBLEMS?

  1. mistermuse says:

    Such are the wages of sin that we deny the errors of our ways. Of course, I’m so svelte that I don’t have to worry about such things.

    Like

  2. scifihammy says:

    hahaha If it was that easy to lose weight, we’d all be super thin, and you’d be a billionaire! 🙂

    Like

  3. mistermuse says:

    I’ll settle for millionaire. 🙂

    Like

  4. Don Frankel says:

    Don’t laugh guys. No wait laugh. It’s a funny poem but if you’re up late at night or early in the morning there are a plethora of people out there telling you just that. You can lose weight without dieting or exercising. Just buy the pills or the powder that you sprinkle on your food. It’s all for 29.99. Or you if you want to look like some Olympic styled athlete, buy the DVDs for… you guessed it fans $29.99. I’d rather read Muse.

    No wait! That’s an idea read funny poems, read satirical articles by Don and Richard and laugh. Laugh so much you forget to eat and then of course, lose weight! And, all of this for just…. $29.99. Seems to be the magic number.

    Like

  5. mistermuse says:

    Readers can send my $29.99 directly to Richard as a tax-deductible contribution to his Presidential election campaign….at least, I think it’s tax deductible. On second thought, better send it to me so I can check it out. Better yet, send cash and I won’t have to check it out. What Richard doesn’t know can’t hurt him.

    Like

  6. arekhill1 says:

    And there’s much I don’t know, hence much that doesn’t hurt me. In the words of the song, what a wonderful world.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Osyth says:

    Love that … don’t blame the pants (which being English are Panties the Pant being known as a trouser) 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. mistermuse says:

    Many thanks for the info. This is entirely within my mission of having a blog to go to for the real poop, if you’ll pardon my English. And the best part is that with contributions from knowledgeable sources like you, I come out smelling like a rose for attracting the best comments anywhere. 🙂

    Like

  9. BroadBlogs says:

    Who knew? Thanks for educating us. Nothing I love more than a good walk– Not many things, anyway. Unfortunately, I don’t think I will get a walk today. (Tear drop)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. BroadBlogs says:

    Oh, I just saw that this was posted yesterday. I did take a walk yesterday!

    Like

  11. mistermuse says:

    I forgive you, because I’m sure that’s the first mistake you’ve ever made. 🙂
    I, on the other hand, have never made any (since the last one). 😦

    Like

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