Conspiracy, n. An agreement between two or more persons to commit a crime or accomplish a legal purpose through illegal action. –Webster’s New College Dictionary
Last week at my house, a contractor friend was doing a few odd jobs, at the conclusion of which his helper and I were making small talk. I don’t even remember what we were talking about, when out of the blue, he asked me what I thought about “Jade Helm 15.” I, of course, being a man of no small knowledge of many things, promptly responded, “Huh?”
To make a long explanation short, it turns out that there’s a certitude among certain conspiracy believers on the far right that an upcoming U.S. military warfare training exercise is prelude to a federal takeover of the state of Texas. Moreover, this will be a pretext for Obama to declare martial law, provide the authority to cancel next year’s election, and serve a third term as President. At least, that’s how Billy Jim Bob (or whatever the helper’s name was) ‘splained it. Evidently he weren’t a 100% bona fide true believer, however, as he didn’t take me up on my offer of a $100 bet that it ain’t gonna happen.
Anyway, I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised by Jade Helm 15, because conspiracy theories are nothing new. It seems like they have been around since the beginning of creation, which may itself have been a conspiracy theory. Just in my lifetime, there have been such examples as the claim in the 1940s & 50s that fluoridation of drinking water was a communist conspiracy, up to recent claims that Obama is trying to bankrupt, corrupt, disrupt, erupt or inter-rupt America.
Now, far be it from me to deny that some conspiracy theories actually prove true. How do you separate the wheat from the laugh? And who has time to look into this stuff, even if you wanted to? Luckily, my good friend and fearless investigative reporter, Ricardo Cahill, has excessive amounts of time on his hands and the sources and resources to do the job. All you need do is go to his blog, where you will find any number of fearless revelations, many of which expose boobs (of the mentally-suspect or political type, of course).
To close, I have conspired with myself to put forth the following: