THE MOE, THE MERRIER

 Moe: What’s yer watch say? Shemp: Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick. (FRIGHT NIGHT, 1947)

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When I found that Moe Howard, of THREE STOOGES fame, died on this day (in 1975), I thought of writing a post celebrating their timeless brand of sophisticated humor — nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Of course, when you think of role models for how siblings (Moe, Curly & Shemp were brothers) — or how people in general, for that matter — should respect and treat one another, no one set a higher standard than The Three Stooges — nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Like most guys — and possibly a few gals — I loved The Three Stooges when I was young. Still do, as a matter of fact, but on a more selective basis. For example, I looked at four or five of their short films to find one I thought came close to meeting my high standards and those of my exceedingly discriminating audience — nyuk nyuk nyuk:

So, nyuknuckleheads, that concludes my film presentation….but you say you want Moe? Soitenly! Nyuk nyuk nyuk. There’s lots Moe quotes (and Curly and Shemp quotes, not to mention Larry Fine quotes) where that opening quote came from. Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Burnt toast and a rotten egg? Whatta ya want that for?
I got a tapeworm and that’s good enough for him.
–Moe and Curly, PUNCH DRUNKS, 1934

Why don’t I come up and see you sometime when you’re in the nude…I mean mood.
-Shemp, ART TROUBLE, 1934

What’s that for? I didn’t do nothin’!
That’s in case you do and I’m not around.
-Moe and Larry, HOI POLLOI, 1935

Soitenly I’m sound asleep.
Then why are you talkin’?
I’m talkin’ in my sleep!
-Curly and Moe, MOVIE MANIACS, 1936

Are you sure this work will be in competent hands?
Soitenly, we’re all incompetent!
-Mr. Morgan and Curly, SLIPPERY SILKS, 1936

You mean I’m um-day in pig language?
You’re um-day in any language.
-Curly and Moe, TASSELS IN THE AIR, 1938

Oh boy! I can see it now — I come home from a hard day’s work….I whistle for the dog….and my wife comes out.
-Curly, YES, WE HAVE NO BONANZA, 1939

Why don’t you get a toupee with some brains in it?
-Moe to Curly, THREE SAPPY PEOPLE, 1939

Good morning, sir — I’m the census taker. Are you married or happy?
-Moe, NO CENSUS, NO FEELING, 1940

Them’s fightin’ words in my country!
Well then, let’s fight.
We ain’t in my country.
-Shemp and Icabod Slipp, HOLD THAT LION!, 1947

You know fish is great brain food.
You know you should fish for a whale.
-Larry and Moe, PARDON MY CLUTCH, 1948

Whale, I think I’ll quit now, because I resemble that remark.