GO FIGURE

Did you ever notice that when you put the words “THE” and “IRS” together, it spells THEIRS? -Anonymous

It’s April 15th — tax day in America. If you haven’t already done so, it’s time to reward Uncle Sam for the fruits of your labor — even if you claim you hate your job (sour grapes are nonetheless taxable).

In this country, the job of collecting donations to the federal government falls to the IRS — AKA the Infernal Revenue Service. In years past, I (like many other nightmare-lovers) have often opted to procrastinate up to the last day to prepare my tax return. Not so this year — as you will see when I relate a brief but curious conversation I had this morning with my neighbor, Max, over the backyard fence:

“Hello, Muse!”
“Good morning, Max.”
“Have you done
your income tax?”
“Taxing though
it be to say,
know I did
it yesterday.”
“Did you take
your deductions?”
“I deduced
for reductions.”
“Four reduced?
I laud your feat!”
“I took off
both hands and feet.”
“That’s the way
to keep ahead!”
“Yes, I used
my limbs in stead.”
“Instead of
head? Way to go!”
That’s the way
to save some dough!”
“Have you done
your income tax?”
“Good day, Muse.”
“Good morning, Max.”

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4 comments on “GO FIGURE

  1. arekhill1 says:

    I coughed up a couple grand yesterday. Don’t feel like writing a poem about. it.

    Like

  2. mistermuse says:

    I don’t blame you, Ricardo. In lieu of a poem, how about this: 😦

    Like

  3. Don Frankel says:

    It might have been cheaper and easier to give them the pound of flesh.

    I gave them a few hundred but I don’t mind. I’d rather have had my hands on my money. They give you a refund but they don’t give you any interest for having the use of your money.

    Like

  4. mistermuse says:

    I used to feel the same, Don, but rates are so low now, the interest on a few hundred “don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world” – not that I give a hill of beans, because the older I get, the less money interests me (as long as we have enough for our needs (admittedly, loosely defined).

    Liked by 1 person

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