WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE

Do you know what day it is today? Of course you do — April 5 is GO FOR BROKE DAY. “Going for broke,” I suppose, could be spun several ways, but as the subject of this post, it’s a day for the (w)ages. I’m putting my hard-earned money on gambling, and I’m betting that you”ll treasure these quotes on the subject. If not, they come with a funny-back guarantee, so what have you got to lose?

There is an easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. -Jack Yelton

I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. -Mitch Hedberg

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. -Unknown

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -Steven Wright

I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind. -Steve Allen

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn’t come in until half-past five. -Henny Youngman

I don’t gamble, because winning $100 doesn’t give me great pleasure. But losing $100 pisses me off. -Alex Trebeck

Nobody has ever bet enough on a winning horse. -Richard Sasuly

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. -Will Rogers

Someone once asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. -Gloria Steinem

Money can be lost in more ways than won. -Evan Esar

Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar, I would have stayed. -Mark Twain

Of course, no discourse on gambling would be complete without this:

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14 comments on “WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE

  1. Don Frankel says:

    “Oh Monsieur Rick, Monsieur Rick.” The girl from Bulgaria.
    “He’s just a lucky guy.”

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  2. arekhill1 says:

    Duly noted, Sr. Muse. Do you happen to know when it will be “Go for Baroque Day?”

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  3. mistermuse says:

    If you’re referring to Barack’s older brother, Baroque Obama, I think his day is long past. Come to think of it, Barack’s days are dwindling down to a precious few too. Maybe Hillary will return the favor when she’s elected President and appoint him Secretary of State.

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  4. The one thing I learned in Las Vegas was how to roll quarters into the slot machines. This skill helped me when vending machines used to take small change. Now the soda pop and snack vendors only collect the green stuff. No fun trying to roll dollar bills into the slots and those darn macines won’t give you your change anyway.
    I am also waiting for a Baroque Day. I nominate April 20. Which is also the birthday of Adolph Hitler, who absolutely went Baroque trying to conquer Russia.

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  5. mistermuse says:

    Now that you mention Hitler, I can’t think of one time in CASABLANCA that his name was mentioned. I wonder if that was a deliberate decision by the writers, not to pay him that “honor.”

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  6. If I remember correctly mistermuse, I think that the mention of Hitler or any referemce to Nazism was deliberately omitted from the film CASABLANCA. One of my favorites also.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mistermuse says:

    Michaeline, I’ve just watched CASABLANCA again, and I was mistaken about Hitler’s name not being mentioned. Near the beginning of the film, when Major Strasser arrives in Casablanca and is greeted by Captain Louis Renault, they exchange “Heil Hitler”s. But that is the only time, so I was close but no cigar.

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  8. That was a long reach since the heil to Hitler was just a greeting. The film was finally released to theaters after many delays. It seems the beginning of World War II coincided with the making of CASABLANCA. I think Hollywood did not want to make create a movie that relied on the timeline of that war. which now makes the film fit in with any generation. It is timeless. Good attempt to correct your misgivings but no still cigar for you, mistermuse. 🙂

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  9. mistermuse says:

    Well, I already said “close but no cigar” – so I’m not sure what you meant by that, Michaeline. In any case, the story of the making of CASABLANCA is interesting in itself, and no matter how many times I see the film, I never tire of watching it

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  10. I meant no harm and no foul, mistermuse. However, I did feel a bit overlooked when I wrote about “Hitler going for Baroque in trying to conquer Russia.” So, now I guess we are even and you were very close in deed by mentioning “Heil Hitler.” Most of us probably missed that greeting but you did catch it, so kudos to you! By the way I must admit that my birthday is also on April 20th. Hopefully I turned out better than aforementioned dictator.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      Michaeline, I often don’t congratulate readers like Ricardo & others on their witticisms (and vice versa) because I think there’s an understood appreciation of each other’s writing ability, and explicit praise seems unnecessary…even embarrassing or awkward. So take it as a compliment that I think your writing has reached a point where your “gems” no longer need (ap)praising. 🙂

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  11. Mélanie says:

    Bogie and Claude Rains… “o tempora, o mores!” I still watch “Casablanca” called in French “film-culte”, each time it’s on a TV channel…

    Liked by 1 person

  12. mistermuse says:

    In America, a cult film is generally regarded as a film with an extremely enthusiastic, but relatively limited, following. By that definition, CASABLANCA is too broadly popular to be considered “film-culte.” Personally, I like the term and think it suits almost any truly classic film, regardless of its mass appeal.

    Speaking of classic films, “o tempora, o mores” is spoken by the reporter (according to Wikipedia) in INHERIT THE WIND, the Spencer Tracy/Fredric March-starring drama based on the Scopes MonkeyTrial. I’ve seen that movie a few times but don’t recall hearing that classic phrase, so I’ll have to watch/listen for it the next time it’s on TV.

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