RETURN OF THE SNIGLETS

Sniglet: a word that doesn’t appear in the dictionary, but should –Rich Hall

You (or, at least, I) don’t hear much about sniglets these days, but as an unrepentant sniggler, I find those pun-like definitions worth keeping alive. Here are some of my favorites from the past:

ALPONIUM – The initial blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.
ARACHNIDICT – A person who, after wandering into an unseen spider web, begins flailing about wildly.
CHOCONIVEROUS – When eating a chocolate Easter bunny, the compulsion to bite the head off first.
CINEMUCK – The combination of popcorn, soda and candy goo covering the floors of movie theaters.
DETRUNCUS – The embarrassment of losing our bathing trunks when diving into a swimming pool.

ELECELLERATION – The notion that the more you press an elevator button, the faster it will arrive.
EXPRESSHOLES – People who take more than “8 items or less” into the express checkout lane.
MAGGITS – The subscription cards that fall from the pages of magazines.
MITTSQUINTER – A fielder who looks into his glove after dropping or misplaying a baseball.
MUSTGO – A food item left in the fridge so long it has mold and/or maggots.

NAPJERK – The sudden convulsion of the body just as one is about to doze off.
PHONESIA – Dialing a phone number and forgetting who you were calling just as they answer.
ROVALERT – The system whereby one dog can set off an entire neighborhood network of barking.
SHOEFLY – Terminology for a punter who misses the football and launches his shoe instead.
SLOTGREED – The habit of checking every coin return one passes for change.

Now for a few originalets (sniglets I thunk up myself and hope they’re original):

BLANDROID – A dull operating system for dumbphones.
CLUBMEDEA – Electronic and print media overkill of real or mythical news.
CRYBERSPACE – The place where lost-in-process drafts, comments and messages go to commiserate.
EBAY-OF-PIGS – Where politicians render pork in return for fat campaign contributions.
LOL-E-GAG – A posted joke, pun or quip to which the response is an abbreviated laugh so LOUD it is beyond the frequency range of human hearing.

That brings this presentation to a close. Thank you for the thunderous LOL, applause, or whatever it was I didn’t hear. Now, how about contributing to the cause with a sniglet or two of your own making or re-telling?

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11 comments on “RETURN OF THE SNIGLETS

  1. ladysighs says:

    These are all great! My favorite of the first set is: PHONESIA because it really does happen to me.

    My favorite of yours is: CRYBERSPACE. Sometimes my ideas never even reach the Draft folder. I’m crying over a lost idea before the computer boots up. 😦

    Like

  2. mistermuse says:

    I agree with you about CRYBERSPACE – I hate when that happens! Just to be safe, I’d better click “Post Comment” before this brilliant reply disappears. 🙂

    Like

  3. Don Frankel says:

    PARA-PHRASEBRUM – That place in the brain where half remembered quotes reside.

    Like

  4. mistermuse says:

    That reminds me of the old saying that half a loaf is better than……whatever.

    Like

  5. arekhill1 says:

    PRICKET–when a cop writes you up for a minor violation just because he’s feeling surly.

    Like

  6. Joseph Nebus says:

    I’m honestly embarrassed. The other day I did put together some fresh word that my love thought great for identifying something, and now I can’t think what it was.

    Sniglets do seem to have dropped off the face of the earth, though, haven’t they? I’d have imagined they would adapt to Internet-meme status easily.

    Like

  7. mistermuse says:

    Joseph, don’t be embarrassed about such a common occurrence – in fact, you could be the “poster child” for my post of Feb 18, THE LIFE OF A WRITER.

    Like

  8. mistermuse says:

    Michaeline, your heart is pundamentally in the right place, so if your sniglets hit a snaglet, don’t fretlet. 🙂

    Like

  9. morgan says:

    PIGSLICE (pig’ slys)

    n. The last piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.

    Liked by 1 person

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