TODAY IS LAME DUCK DAY

With Congress – every time they make a joke it’s a law. And every time they make a law it’s a joke.
–Will Rogers

I don’t know who comes up with these “holidays,” but February 6 is LAME DUCK DAY, which might just as well be called LAME JOKE DAY because it recognizes incumbent politicians (and other potentates) whose term in power will soon expire. Now you may reason from the above quote that, like me, Will Rogers would think honoring Lame Ducks is a lame joke. But he also famously said he never met a man he didn’t like….and I assume he’d already met at least a few politicians when he said it. So, as much as I respect Mr. Rogers, we’re probably not in the same neighborhood on the subject of lame ducks. But that’s an easy fix — let’s change the subject. Let’s talk about healthy ducks.

As it happens, since I was a boy, I’ve had a soft spot in my heart for ducks. I’ve had several as pets, the last of which was named Gussie. Gussie not only wasn’t lame, she wasn’t fussy….but she did have one thing in common with politicians: she laid many an egg during her tenure and never let it faze her. So here’s to Gussie and her Pekin predecessors, who inspired this poem I wrote many years ago (slightly updated):

LORD LOVE A DUCK

Lord love a duck
And so do I….
If you were me,
That’s what I’d buy.

But since you’re not
Myself today,
Let me put it
To you this way:

From wee duckling,
Downy yellow,
He’ll fast become
White big fellow….

Unless, of course,
He lays an egg —
In which case, you’ll
Her pardon, beg.

Oh, by the way,
Friend, if you please,
I hope that you
Speak Pekin-ese.

But seriously,
Folks, as they say,
That’s enough wise
Quacks for today.

You can search the Web,
Even ask a vet —
You won’t find a
Better pet.

They’ll stay outdoors
In weather fowl,
And not want in
Or bark or howl.

Their needs are few,
As pet needs go —
A cache of feed….
Some H2O.

And, best of all,
A place to swim:
No better treat
For her or him.

Before you know it,
To me you’ll say,
“Friend, have you hugged
A duck today?”

 

 

 

 

 

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6 comments on “TODAY IS LAME DUCK DAY

  1. THE DUCKS BY THE LAKE

    No, I have not hugged a duck today
    but I did watch them as they lay
    on the banks of Crescent Lake,
    as a journey I did take
    In my scooter named Spitfire,
    bought for me by my Squire.
    It has a horn that goes Beep! Beep!
    loud enough to wake a sheep;
    the ducks come in many shades
    and do not live in the Everglades.
    The funny mud hens are ducks, too,
    they come in tints of black and blue.
    When they hear my scooter go bonking by
    the ducks sound off with a honking cry,
    As my horn goes beeping and tooting
    Ducks come to visit or run scooting
    to the quiet shade of the banyan tree
    whose gnarled limbs are a wild melee.

    By Michaeline Montezinos, Copyright February 6, 2015

    (Inspired by a poem about “Ducks” written by mistermuse.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mistermuse says:

    Very nice, Michaeline. The last two lines well describe a banyan tree – at least, as I remember a tree-mendous one I saw in Hawaii over 30 years ago.

    Like

  3. arekhill1 says:

    I had a traumatic childhood, like everybody else, and part of it revolved around two ducks I had for a few weeks as pets. They were busted for eating my mother’s crocuses, and I was told they were being taken away from me and going to a ‘big farm’ where they would quack their days away happily. It wasn’t for several years that Mom admitted they were instead eaten almost immediately by the “farmer.”

    Haven’t berated her for that in years. Better give her a call. Thanks for reminding me, guys.

    Like

  4. mistermuse says:

    “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” – or (apparently) like a woman whose eaten crocuses are mourned. But you’re right, Ricardo – such childhood experiences never leave us. We forgive but can’t forget.

    Like

  5. Don Frankel says:

    There’s a baseball expression “ducks on the pond” which mean you’re up and there are runners in scoring position. That never made any sense to me. I mean if I get a hit the ducks will swim in? Are they on base or something?

    Like

  6. mistermuse says:

    Don, l’ve heard the expression, but never stopped to consider the origin, so I Googled it. It apparently goes back to the 1940s, but there’s no clear “bases” for it. Sorry, I struck out.

    Like

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