DEC. 19 IS HAVE A BAD DAY DAY

I kid you not not — today is Have A Bad Day Day, and I intend to honor said day with some bad Bad Day jokes, most of which you’ve probably heard before. If that doesn’t contribute to your having a bad day, I don’t know what will….but if I did know, I certainly would.

So, how do you know you’re having a bad day? Try these on for sighs:

Your wife calls you at the office, saying she has some good news and some bad news, but you tell her you’re running late and don’t have time for both, so she gives you only the good news: “The air bag on the new car works just fine.”

You call your wife and tell her you’d like to eat out tonight. When you get home, there’s a sandwich on the front porch.

Your wife is looking on while you open this humorous greeting card (signed ‘Brigitte’): SORRY YOU HAD A BAD DAY. YOU CAN TOUCH MY BOOBS IF YOU WANT.  (Your wife’s name isn’t ‘Brigitte.’)

You look in the mirror, and your reflection points at you and laughs.

You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

You need a bathroom scale for each foot (speaking of which, remember that STRESSED backwards spells DESSERTS).

 

 

 

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14 comments on “DEC. 19 IS HAVE A BAD DAY DAY

  1. Ho! Ho! Ho! That is me laughing during the season of holidays. Used to be Hi! Ho! Hi! Ho! off to work I go. We always worked over the holidays since that meant time and a half per hour. Liked your poem and thought I was having a GOOD day. Oh well, Muse, I will just save this one (like I do most of your posts.) I can refer to it on one of my BAD days and it will be a source of great humor for me. Ha! Ha! Ha! What about having a bad hair day? Oh, that usually is written by women, sorry. A lot of young men are losing their hair and some even shave it all off. Then they wear a hat. As long as they do not wear babushkas around their shiny skulls. That would creep me out!

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  2. arekhill1 says:

    Is there a National Naughty Day, and if so, shouldn’t it be close to Christmas?

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    • I don’t agree with having a National Naughty Day near Christmas. Just leave a rotten plum in their stockings. I think we should have a special place staffed with volunteers overseeing parents legally spanking those naughty ones. Bring in the good kids, too, and let them watch. Spanking should not hurt your hand or the bad boys and girls. It is the embarrasment that shames the bad ones that really hurts. Nip tthem while are just “buds” and you may have a good child. All the others grow up to be sociopaths. I apologize but it is the way it goes. trust me; I have been there and have seen it happen. Oh My, I was having a good day not a bad one~~~
      Happy Christmas to all who write here and to my friends and family, Happy Hanukkah!

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    • mistermuse says:

      No soap, Ricardo – but I can alert you to the next best thing: HUMBUG DAY on Dec. 21. Hmmm – I feel a new post coming on in two days.

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  3. mistermuse says:

    Didn’t mean to overlook your “Happy Christmas” wishes, Michaeline – same to you and yours.

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  4. Don Frankel says:

    Naughty Day is Christmas Richard the IVth.

    I’m glad it’s official Muse but I had a pretty good day today. Oh wait, it’s the 20th.

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  5. mistermuse says:

    Good thing it is the 20th, Don, because tomorrow is HUMBUG DAY, and I’d hate to throw cold water on your day (though Mother Nature may have other plans).

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  6. mistermuse says:

    You can be naughty if you like, Michaeline – I won’t tell Santa.

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  7. Mélanie says:

    well, we all have bad days… 🙂
    http://myvirtualplayground.wordpress.com/2014/11/12/we-all-have-bad-days/
    * * *
    merry holidays and cheers! 🙂 Mélanie

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  8. mistermuse says:

    Happy holidays to you as well (I’ll check out your link later today).

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