No article about Mark Twain would be complete without quotes by Mark Twain. –mistermuse.

  • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thank you, mistermuse, for calling attention to the lack of Mark Twain quotes (outside of two questions to Dorothy on an ocean liner) in the previous post, THE UNIVERSAL MARK TWAIN. But, for all we know, such absence may have been on purpose: merely the first leg of a two-port voyage, with Port II awaiting ship with its cargo of such quotes. In fact, unless our eyes believe us, we seem to be putting into port forthwith:

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.

One frequently finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.

I am silent on the subject [the afterlife] out of necessity. I have friends in both places.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.