It seems that, unbeknownst to every knownst person I’ve known (including me), October 23 is the #1 big news day in the history of the world….literally beginning with the history of the world. According to irreparable sources, Anglican Archbishop of Armagh and Human Primate of All Ireland, James Ussher (1581-1656), established after extensive Biblical and Middle Eastern research that the first day of creation was Sunday, October 23, 4004 BC.

Highly regarded as a churchman and scholar, the good Archbishop’s calculations were regarded at the time with unquestioning reverence. These calculations included such happenings as Adam and Eve being driven from their garden paradise on Monday, November 10, 4004 BC, and Noah’s Ark touching down on Mt. Ararat on Wednesday, May 5, 2348 BC — undoubtedly a current event of glad tidings to all aboard.

But not every historical event on this day was of biblical proportions. Here are some lesser  Oct. 23 gigs which are nonetheless gignificant, because I feel like commenting on them:

425 AD – Valentinian III elevated to throne of Roman Emperor at age 6 (emphasis on elevated)

1814 – First plastic surgery performed (in England), which seems odd because the first man-made plastic wasn’t patented until 1856 (also in England). Perhaps it was originally called rubber surgery, as rubber was known long before plastic and was first used commercially as an eraser. Makes sense, if you face the facts.

1915 – 25,000 women march in NYC demanding right to vote. As if Prohibition, in effect Jan. 1920, wouldn’t be enough to suffer through, husbands had to put up with their uppity wives wanting not only to run their households, but having a say in running the entire country. It was enough to make a groan man cry in his bootleg booze.

1935 -Mobster Dutch Schultz and three associates shot to death in a saloon by Mafia hitmen. Kind of makes one wonder, Can we all just get along?

Speaking of which, I’ve got to get along  — my better half beckons.




10 comments on “NEWS OF THE DAY

  1. arekhill1 says:

    Anybody can, like the Human Primate of Ireland, (Is there a non-human primate? Well, gorillas and such, but they’re seldom found in Ireland) figure out when the world began. It’s figuring out when, and how, it ends that has even the greatest minds stumped.


  2. mistermuse says:

    I confess that the good Archbishop’s title wasn’t HUMAN Primate of Ireland. I added the Homo sapient designation to distinguish him from non-human Primates because, although history records no gorillas among the hierarchy of Ireland (or elsewhere), there has been no dearth of monkeyshines and monkeying around. But who am I to judge – they’re only human after all.


  3. Don Frankel says:

    It’s good to know when it all began with a bang and it was also the same date that it all ended for Dutch Schultz with a few bangs out there in that Chophouse in Newark.


  4. mistermuse says:

    Speaking of repulsive characters, Weird Al Yankovic was born on Oct. 23, so the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh on that date. Such is life.


  5. My husband and I have been married so long, we forgot that October 23 is our wedding anniversary. I did get my hair done and we went to Bob Evans for dinner. We can celebrate officially on Valentine’s Day like we did earlier this year. It’s much more romantic that way.


  6. mistermuse says:

    October 23 is also “Valentinian’s Day” (see the 4th paragraph of my post). Both he and St. Valentine were Romans, but apparently Valentinian was no saint. In any case, a belated happy wedding anniversary to you and your Romeo.


  7. Thank you for that interesting bit of information, mistermuse. Also for the good wishes!


  8. mistermuse says:

    You’re welcome, Michaeline. Actually, Oct. 23 being “Valentinian’s Day” was a bit of humorous exaggeration on my part, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was such a holiday at the time (425 AD). Even a six year old Roman Emperor could probably decree anything he wanted to, including a mandatory celebration of his inaugeration day.


    • Joseph Nebus says:

      They can decree. Various Roman emperors after Augustus tried to rename the months after themselves — Commodius tried to put a different one of all his twelve names on the months — though they didn’t take.


  9. mistermuse says:

    Thanks for the additional info. With further tongue in cheek, I hereby decree that you’re a gentleman and a (Roman) scholar.


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