GOOD OLD BOY

My kids haven’t been kids for many a decade. I, on the other hand, have almost decayed, but am still a kid. The old saying must be true that you can’t take the boy out of the man….at least, I think it’s an old saying. My memory isn’t as good as it used to was.

Anyway, what prompted the foregoing musing was a Children’s Books catalog I got in the mail the other day. Why the sender thought a V.A.P. (Very Ancient Person) might be a potential buyer of young children’s books, I can’t say — but upon perusing the catalog’s oft-amusing titles, I must admit I’m tempted. What young-at-heart reader wouldn’t be thrilled at the thought of receiving any of these books (words in italics quoted from book description):

ME HUNGRY! by Jeremy Tankard (sounds like he might be thirsty, too) — Book begins with a cave boy saying, “Me hungry!” Ignored by his family (“Me busy!”), he suddenly is inspired to hunt. But rabbit hides, and porcupine is too sharp, and tiger is too mean.
And you think you’ve got trouble.

DUCK IN THE TRUCK by Jez Alborough — While driving home, Duck gets his truck stuck in the muck.
Does duck have the pluck to buck such yuck? Or is duck schmuck-out-of-luck?

I BELIEVE IN UNICORNS by Michael Morpurgo — Eight-year old Tomas Porec hated school, hated reading, and hated stories, until the unicorn came to the library.
Why not? According to Dr. Elizabeth Mitchell of Answers In Genesis, the absence of a unicorn (mentioned in Job 39:9-12) in the modern world “should not cause us to doubt its past existence.” Tomas Porce was probably in a very old library in the very old days.

SANTA RETIRES by David Biedrzycki — Things up north are going south. “Sacks are getting bigger. Chimneys are getting smaller. And you never know what the weather will throw at you.” So Santa announces that he means to retire.
Say it isn’t so, Santa! Will Santa go the way of the unicorn? Come back, Santa!

There are more fascinating titles such as THE GREAT FAIRY TALE DISASTER and CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS, but I’m already overwrought just thinking about the books I’ve already covered and wondering how they’ll turn out. Maybe you could order me one or two for Christmas. Hopefully Santa will change his mind and deliver them like a good old boy.

 

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4 comments on “GOOD OLD BOY

  1. arekhill1 says:

    I’m thinking of writing a children’s book myself, “Heather has Three Mommies and an Uncle Who Never Wears Pants” about life in a big, polygamous and polyamorous family. I don’t know if I can get it done by Christmas, though.

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  2. mistermuse says:

    I hope you can get it done by Christmas, Ricardo. If anything can convince Santa not to retire, that should do the trick.

    Like

  3. Don Frankel says:

    Someone could send Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs to Cave Boy and the Unicorn to the guy who’s truck got stuck.

    I like Richard the IVth’s book though. I mean someone has to write the first great novel about polyamorous love.

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  4. mistermuse says:

    If anyone can send Meatballs and Unicorns to those in need, surely it’s Santa. All the more reason for the old boy to stay on the job until he and Mrs. Claus start making babies and raise a successor.

    Like

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