Today, I’m in the mood to quote that great wit, Dorothy Parker. Actually, I was in the mood to do so yesterday (her birthday), but my computer wasn’t. No big deal — better great than never, I always never say.
I’ve quoted Dorothy Parker (Aug. 22, 1893 – June 7, 1967) on several occasions, including in a Speak Without Interruption post of 6/7/12 titled DAYS OF THE ROUND TABLE, which, like yours truly, has somehow managed to survive to this day. I also recall writing a related SWI article on the ALGONQUIN HOTEL/ROUND TABLE (the group which included Dorothy Parker), but I don’t know if it’s survived. I haven’t the heart to search and find it missing.
Anyway, for those interested, a Google search will reveal much more on the Algonquin, so without further ado, I give you Dorothy Parker:
Asked to describe her Bucks County farm in two words: “Want it?”
“That woman speaks eighteen languages and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.”
“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”
“You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.”
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
“How can they tell?” – on hearing that Calvin (“Silent Cal”) Coolidge had died.
Epitaphs she suggested at various times for her tombstone:
EXCUSE MY DUST
THIS IS ON ME
WHEREVER SHE WENT, INCLUDING HERE, IT WAS AGAINST HER BETTER JUDGMENT
One of the three made it. Care to guess which?