In the journalism business, a slow news day is (as defined by Wiktionary.com) “a time when media organizations publish trivial stories due to lack of more substantial topics.” I know that Tabloids have no such problem, but your local paper probably has had to resort to the likes of these on occasion:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/babymantis/15-reasons-it-must-have-been-a-slow-news-day (if it comes up Page Not Found, click where it says “Search” – then click the blue “15 Reasons Why It Must Have Been A Slow News Day”)
Not to be outdone by the Tabs or the locals, your trusty Muse has gone to untold investigative lengths, spared no expense and left no stone unturned to bring you the following June 4th happenings:
Today is Old Maids Day.
Giacomo Casanova died on this day in 1798.
Roquefort Cheese was created in cave near Roquefort, France, in 1070.
The weather forecast for today is what it is.
Ruth Westheimer (Dr. Ruth), SEX therapist, was born on this day in 1928.
Today is Hug Your Cat Day.
Monkees awarded Emmy for outstanding comedy series on this day in 1967.
PETA protests Emmy award for outstanding comedy series on this night in 1967.
Billy Crystal and Janice Goldfinger wed June 4, 1970, celebrate Silver Anniversary June 4, 1995.
June 4 hedging-your-bets Horoscope: There are few times that you can recall being lost for words. Your sociability and warmth make you a valued friend.
I had a few more, but I forget what I was going to say.
Your Valued Friend,