BOYS AND GIRLS, BREAD AND CAKE

Guess what, boys and girls — today is the day you’ve been waiting for: April 23 is NATIONAL ZUCCHINI BREAD DAY! I don’t know about you, boys and girls, but there’s nothing I like more than zucchini bread, unless it’s fruit cake (but you only get that at Christmas time — it’s the law). Fortunately, boys and girls, you can have zucchini bread anytime. And best of all, it’s good for you — it’ll put muscle on your bustle and hair on your chest (much the same as bourbon whiskey, which the law also prohibits until a certain time, like when you come of age….unless you live in Kentucky, where baby bottles have never known milk).

Anyway, children, it’s time for you to butt out, because the rest of this tale is for BIG boys and girls, and you’ve already taken up too much of my valuable time (ha ha, just kidding, you annoying little juvenile delinquents). I’ll give you another heads-up about another tasty treat on another day, but until then, you can sleep the sleep of the unconditionally loved, knowing that others are thinking of you with relish:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/How/To/Cook_Children

And now let us turn to the April 23rd adult stuff (and I don’t mean naughty calendars for cheese-cake lovers). I’m talking about TAKE A CHANCE DAY and LOVER’S DAY, which are also celebrated on April 23. Luckily for you, I’m old enough to remember an old standard which combines those adulterously-suggestive sentiments in one song; here are two versions of this classic tune for your listening and (in the case of the first clip) viewing pleasure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjpQ2hoj6J0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5np55T5gWY