MARCH 26 IS MAKE UP YOUR OWN HOLIDAY DAY

One would think it’s easy to make up your own holiday. How hard can it be, given the hundreds of made-up holidays continually added to the archives over the years by the compilers of such things …. not to mention the official holidays made up by Congress and state legislatures.

March 26, for example, is also Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Day, a holiday in Hawaii honoring the territorial delegate who introduced a bill in 1919 requesting that Hawaii be admitted into the union as a full-fledged state — a petition which, for the information of those who claim Congress never gets anything done, was ratified into reality a mere 40 years later (and only 37 years after the good Prince said “Aloha” to this world). But I, like Congress, digress.

My point is that, with so many holidays heretofore (I hear two to four) taking up every day of the year, it’s NOT all that easy to come up with a new original holiday. A sampling of this week’s holidays, for instance, will demonstrate: March 24, National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day; March 25, Maryland Day, Pecan Day and Waffle Day; March 27, National “Joe” Day; March 28, Something on a Stick Day; March 29, Smoke and Mirrors Day.

Thus, one may think one is the first to come up with a new holiday, but how can one be certain? One could examine every day of the year on every list and calendar known to man …. or one could proclaim Damn the Torpedoes Day, and full speed ahead. I say DAMN THE TORPEDOES!

So feel free to send me your holiday nomination (accompanied by a voluntary donation). My holiday choice is obvious: my birthday. I would decree October 18 MISTERMUSE DAY. All businesses and institutions would get the day off except Congress, which must spend the day debating whether October 18th is October 18th. Any attempt to refer the matter to committee for further study would be blocked by my congressman, Phil A. Buster (if he wants to continue getting my $2 campaign contributions).

The winning entry will chosen by an unbiased panel of distinguished friends and family,  and become official on October 18.