One would think it’s easy to make up your own holiday. How hard can it be, given the hundreds of made-up holidays continually added to the archives over the years by the compilers of such things …. not to mention the official holidays made up by Congress and state legislatures.

March 26, for example, is also Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Day, a holiday in Hawaii honoring the territorial delegate who introduced a bill in 1919 requesting that Hawaii be admitted into the union as a full-fledged state — a petition which, for the information of those who claim Congress never gets anything done, was ratified into reality a mere 40 years later (and only 37 years after the good Prince said “Aloha” to this world). But I, like Congress, digress.

My point is that, with so many holidays heretofore (I hear two to four) taking up every day of the year, it’s NOT all that easy to come up with a new original holiday. A sampling of this week’s holidays, for instance, will demonstrate: March 24, National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day; March 25, Maryland Day, Pecan Day and Waffle Day; March 27, National “Joe” Day; March 28, Something on a Stick Day; March 29, Smoke and Mirrors Day.

Thus, one may think one is the first to come up with a new holiday, but how can one be certain? One could examine every day of the year on every list and calendar known to man …. or one could proclaim Damn the Torpedoes Day, and full speed ahead. I say DAMN THE TORPEDOES!

So feel free to send me your holiday nomination (accompanied by a voluntary donation). My holiday choice is obvious: my birthday. I would decree October 18 MISTERMUSE DAY. All businesses and institutions would get the day off except Congress, which must spend the day debating whether October 18th is October 18th. Any attempt to refer the matter to committee for further study would be blocked by my congressman, Phil A. Buster (if he wants to continue getting my $2 campaign contributions).

The winning entry will chosen by an unbiased panel of distinguished friends and family,  and become official on October 18.



  1. Don Frankel says:

    Excellent idea Muse and I second the nomination of Mistermuse Day. But no comment to this article would be complete without the recommendation of a holiday. So I propose for one and all DAMN THE TYPO’S FULL SPEED AHEAD DAY. The day of the year will be April 26 in accordance with the Baptism day of William Shakespeare. It seems we don’t know his actual birthday. Now the Bard did not live in a time where there were typewriters, computers or typo’s but then there wasn’t any regulated use of grammar or spelling either. And the idea of this holiday is that all writers not get hung up or upset of an occasional miss spelling or mistake but keep their eyes on the prize.

    If we have some opposition to using the Bard’s day, well we could use Anonymous’s birthday in which case you pick whatever day you want and just tell your boss after you didn’t show up.


  2. mistermuse says:

    I likewise second your nomination, Don – and I don’t even use a spell checker program (which I have had occasion to regret). Nonetheless, DAMN THE TYPOS, FULL SPEED AHEAD!


  3. arekhill1 says:

    THE PRO FOOTBALL EQUINOX. Approximately halfway between the Super Bowl and the beginning of the new season in September, this second Monday in June is celebrated in stadium parking lots all over the land. Uncomfortable cheese hats, brightly painted faces and pointless fistfights between opposing fans are the order of the day, along with liquor in cleverly concealable flasks and beer chugged as if rushing to the gates for the opening kickoff. By four o’clock, all celebrants have achieved that numb, hollow, pre-hungover feeling that comes with watching one’s team blow a last-second field goal to lose the game, and everyone goes home resigned to watching baseball until September.


    • mistermuse says:

      I hadn’t heard of that particular celebration, Ricardo, but it sounds like an excellent event to have a beer (disguised as root beer) and football helmet (for weenies’ head protection) concession stand.


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