DON’T BLAME ME — I’M IRISH (PART ONE)

May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint.  –Irish proverb

St. Patrick’s Day may still be four days away (including today), but bein’ even one part (1/4th) Irish is enough for me to question squeezing a bottomless pit (not to be confused with a bottomless pint) of Irish blarney into a single day. So don’t be blaming me for expanding the celebration and getting an early start — and may the good Lord forgive the three out me four grandparents who weren’t born in Ireland.

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How did the Irish Jig get started?
Too much to drink and not enough restrooms.

A drunk staggers into a Dublin church , enters a confessional and sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there without a word. Finally, the Priest pounds on the wall three times.
The drunk mumbles, “Ain’t no use knockin’, there’s no paper on this side either.”

What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk at the party.

Pat and Mike have been drinking buddies for years. One day Pat says to Mike, “We’ve been friends for years and, if I die first, would ye do me a favor — get the best bottle of Irish whiskey and pour it over me grave.”
Mike replies, “I would be glad to do that for ye, old friend, but would ye mind if I pass it through me bladder first?”

Time out for a cold one. Part two tomorrow.

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4 comments on “DON’T BLAME ME — I’M IRISH (PART ONE)

  1. arekhill1 says:

    If it weren’t for whiskey, the Irish would rule the world.

    Like

  2. mistermuse says:

    Sure and begorrah!

    Like

  3. Don Frankel says:

    “May the road rise up to meet you. May the rain fall softly on your fields. And may you be in heaven for a full half hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”

    Muse I claim Irish status due to being a born and bred New Yorker where there are more people of Irish descent than in Dublin and also due to the fact that I once marched in the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. Not to mention the times I peddled balloons at the parade when I was in my Uthe.

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  4. mistermuse says:

    Don, I was going to use that “May the road rise up….” quote in my Part Two post today, but since you’re Irish too (and since that was just one of many), I forgive ye. Top o’ the mornin’ to ye!

    Like

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