After using the word “carbuncle” in my last post because it sounded funny, it occured to me that writers don’t use such words often enough in their attempts to keep a reader impressed with their erudition. Anyone with a thesaurus can be an oocephalus, but let’s get serious — only a real anencephalus can be scholarus and humor us. Fortuitous for you/us, I am the latter kind of phalus.

As if that weren’t felicitous enough, I’m a phalus with a famous phallus fish tale from the Pedernales River in Texas hill country. Whether or not it’s a fallacious phallus, shall us not judge:

In their motor palace,
Al and Alice Hallas
Headed west from Dallas.
Stopping halfway to Nogales,
From the Pedernales
Alice fished a phallus.

Unbeknownst to Alice,
Al was upstream phal-less,
Having sheared his chalice
Cutting off a callus,
So she threw with malice
His phallus back in ‘nales.

Now Al looks like Alice,
Although Al no gal is.


  1. Don Frankel says:

    Dallas, phallus, Nogales, malice etc. There has to be some kind of a record here. Well done Muse,


  2. mistermuse says:

    Not to toot my own phallus, Don, but I wrote that poem without using a rhyming dictionary – though I admit I needed help to find and define “occephalus” (an egghead) and “anencephalous” (lacking a brain, like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Ozcephalous).


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