CERTIFIED LETTERS

Some might say that the last thing the world needs is another set of letters following a person’s name indicating his or her expertise in a given area. But they proliferate anyway. –J. Brendan Ryan

The above quotation is from a recent newspaper article concerning the proliferating use “of letters following a person’s name” in order to sound impressive, without the years of study, training and experience of those who have earned their credentials, such as John Figurehead, CPA (Certified Public Accountant), and Susie Moneybags, CFA (Certified Financial Planner). According to the article, many unearned letter designations are procured for little more than payment of a fee, so be wary of acronyms which may look impressive, but may be misleading (if not bogus).

In the public interest, The Observation Post’s highly-qualified proprietor, mistermuse, COP (Certified Observation Post-man), has investigated this crime against humility and has compiled a list of suspect entities in order to protect you, valued reader, from being taken in by those who want you to fatten their bank accounts or suscribe to their ideology or cause. Here is a sampling of said suspicious entities; as for each of their acronyms, you do the math — I mean, the letters:

Licensed Improving Speech Pathologist

Certified Reactionary Against Progress

Authorized Shitting Specialist

Accredited-Hater Of Liberal Ethics

Bachelor Of Official Broad-based Studies

Doctor Of Religious Kookism (or of Religious Kosherism, whichever way your karma krumbles)

Armed with the above information, you are now uniquely prepared to avoid being hoodwinked by Charlatans, Hucksters And Other Scoundrels. Aren’t you glad you’re a TOP reader?