PHOBIA, SCHMOBIA

Did you know that (according to Reference.com) there are at least 530 documented phobias, Including Phobophobia, the fear of phobias? Among the most interesting, to say the least, is fear of midgets (Achondroplasiphobia). Another of my favorites is Anatidaephobia, the fear that somewhere in the world, a duck is watching you. Aflac! Then there is the fear of long words (Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia). Easy for who to say. You can click http://phobialist.com for a comprehensive list.

As curious as the above documented examples are, Yours Truly has come across some phobias that, while undocumented, are even more curious. By adhering to the most exacting investigative standards (personal observation), I have determined without fear of contradictaphobia that the following are every bit as real as phobias documented by so-called scientific methods:

Santaclaustrophobia — the fear of Christmas closing in, surrounded by the God-awful, unholy sound of wall-to-wall Christmas songs from which there is no escape.

Ideologophobia — the fear of pluralism, pragmatism and, above all, the color gray.

Expostophobia — the fear of disappearing posts.

Mistermuseephobia — the fear of Expostophobia.

Frankelsteinaphobia — the fear of Dr. Don creating a monster who demands to be directed by Young Mel Brooks….seriously.

Michaelphobia – the fear of archangels.

Ricardophobia — the fear of the return of Prohibition, concurrent with the closing of the Mexican border to gringos dying of thirst.

Endophobia — the fear of what all good things must come to.

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2 comments on “PHOBIA, SCHMOBIA

  1. arekhill1 says:

    I plan to smuggle myself across, should my phobia be realized.

    Like

  2. mistermuse says:

    Ricardo, it would be a pity to make it across, only to develope Cervezaphobia. Maybe you should invite Dr. Don along, just in case.

    Like

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