Spare the world the banal critic —
I do reviews analytic.
No other critic, dead or living,
Could be more fair or less forgiving.
When I sow scorn, I am so charming
Even I find me disarming.
But chew on this: there is no question
I give writers indigestion.
As for “rep,” mine stands the tallest;
As a scholar, I’m the scholast.
And, though my opinions be divisive,
No one can say I’m not decisive.
As Shakespeare would say, and I agree,
What fools we may — or may not — be.