INTERVIEW WITH MYSELF

“Mistermuse, let’s open with this: in 27 years, you will be 100 years old. To what do you attribute your longevity?”

Mistermuse: “Who knows? In 127 years, I’ll be 200 and still won’t know….or, maybe I will. If the world is still ’round, ask me then.”

“Mistermuse, you are considered by some to be the world’s foremost authority on nothing. To what do you credit your expertise?”

Mistermuse: “It’s a gift. (Christmas, as I recall).”

“Mistermuse, which issue do you think is the biggest impediment to a Middle East peace agreement: the Golan Heights, or the Gesund Heits?”

Mistermuse: “Based on flipping a coin due to being unable to decide, I’d definitely say the Golan Heights.”

“Mistermuse, what do you say to those who favor the Gesund Heits?”

Mistermuse: “Achoo! Achoo!”

“Mistermuse, shouldn’t the Gesund Heits come after the Achoos?”

Mistermuse: “Why? What did the Achoos ever do to the Gesund Heits?”

“Mistermuse, Santa only nose. It’s a cold case.”

Mistermuse: “That’s the most intelligent question you didn’t ask.”

“Mistermuse, bless you for that.”

Mistermuse: “Achoo!”

And that’s a wrap.

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